Yesterday I had my last day at campus, here in Sweden before I go to Edinburgh. It has been a hard week so far. And I am so thankful for my friends at campus for helping me through this tough week. I think that it’s more real now that we are moving. Moving away from my dogs, my family and my friends. It has always been like months away, and now its just a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to studying abroad, but I know I will miss everyone at home.
I have always dreamed about studying in another country. But with my depression, anxiety and panic attacks I never thought I would be possible. Now, thanks to my wonderful husband’s support and the help from my family I am finally going.
I know that I am stronger than I think. I know I can do anything I want to do and I also know that my dogs are going to be well taken care of while I am gone. And this is a quote that I try to remember.
Picture taken buy me and the quote is by: H. Jackson Brown Jr.
I missed posting a few of my planned Christmas Countdown post this week, just because I have had these bad days. But I will post them soon.
Today I don’t want to share my self-care tips with you. Today I want to share why I do self-care. And why I need to get better at it.
So this last couple of weeks have been hard on me and my mental health. I have been struggling with Statistics. I spent almost all my time studying and after the exam and assignments, I felt like a balloon that lost all its air. And then I had to wait and see if I passed the course or if I had to take the exam again. If you are or have been a Student you know what I am talking about.
And then I started realixing that it wasent so long left until I would move over 1000 kilometer away from home. From my family. My dogs. My friends. And that got me kind of shaken up.
And on top of this we are going throw my grandmothers house and dividing the heritage between us all. It feels like my grandfather, who passed away in September 2009, and my grandmother is still there. I am just waiting for them to come down from their bedroom and ask what we are doing. I miss them so much.
For me, Self-Care is an important part to stay grounded and to take time to cope with all that is happening around me. It can very hard some days to take care of ourselves. Just brushing our teeth can be hard. But its important. And I have promised myself that I need to get better at taking care of me.
These last couple of days I have tried to do at least 5 things a day to take care of my self (and brushing my teeth and taking a shower does not count this week). I have done my skin-care rutin, I have taken long walks, I have listened to music and I have taken time to just breath and not feel stressed over what I need to do.
I hope you all also can take some time and spend it on your self-care. You are important! You need to put yourself first sometimes!
I have had migrens since Tuesday. Thats why I didn´t post a Throwback Thursday post yesterday, But I am starting to feel better now.
Teusday was a wierd day. That morning on my way to campus I almost hit a deer (roe deer). One came running out of the woods and ran in front of the car. I hit the brakes and the car skid a bit and I saw how close I was to hitting the deer. And then another deer came running out of the woods and the lorry that came from the other direction almost hit that one.
I am so glad that I didn’t hit the deer and after I was so shaky. But it was alright and I came to campus in time for my class.
And then when I got home in the afternoon I got a message that Wednesday’s class was cancelled because the professor is sick. So I didn’t have any more classes on campus for the week. It felt so weird. But when the migraine kick in I was glad to not miss any lectures because of it.
Today I am going to post the last Fangirl Friday post for a while. At least until after Christmas. Tomorrow starts Christmas Countdown, as I have written before.
It’s a new week and I have so much on my mind. For this Motivational Monday, I decided to share a quote that I have to remind my self about constantly.
“Think Continually About What You Want, Not About The Things You Fear.” ~ Brian Tracy
Bemuse I live with anxiety, depression and panic attacks, I am afraid of so many things. I am afraid something can happen to my husband, the dogs or my family. I am afraid to faint in public. I am afraid of getting a panic attack. I know this is ironic because having anxiety over this can cause a panic attack.
Sometimes I just have to think about what I want in life and not everything I am afraid of. Everyday is a struggle for me. I have a panic attack at least once a day, but I don’t let it stop me. I know I am better than that. And what I want is to get a degree and I am not going to let my fears stop me.
And if I can do it so can you. You are so much stronger than you believe!
This week’s Women Crush Wednesday is all about Tova Leigh. Many of you might now know her. But she is an inspirational woman that has given me so much hope for the future and that I am beautiful just the way I am.
Some of the reasons why she is this weeks WCW:
She doesn’t take shit from anyone.
She is brutally honest, about parenthood, about being a woman. Well, literally everything.
She started something that she calls: MOM LIFE CRISIS. She literally films herself doing things she always wanted to do: like bungy jumping and pole dancing.
She does videos of herself and sometimes with her husband doing things other people have done, but she/they do it a little different. She tags it: nailedit. They are hilarious.
She makes me laugh.
And she posts things that make you question life, in a good way.
I also want to share with you how I found her. I was having a really bad day at campus, with panic attacks and anxiety that was crippling me. My lecture for the day had ended and I was sitting at a table waiting for my husband to get off work so we could drive home. And that was about 3 hours away. I had my headphones on and was scrolling on facebook trying to keep my mind occupied. And a friend of my had shared a video that Tova had posted. I watched it and I laugh. I then went on her page and started watching what she had shared. And all the sudden my husband called saying he was on his way. Her page literally saved mine from a big panic attack. And I have followed her since that day.
This one is so funny. I don’t have kids, but I just love it.
First episode of mom life crisis:
Just watch her videos and I promise you will laugh and feel understood. And Tova, if you by any chance reads this, thank you for all that you share with us. You are amazing and fantastic. And I am looking forward to many more funny nailedit videos and other fun things. And the new Mom Life Crisis video about the trip to Nepal and Everest. And basically anything you post.
It’s Sunday and another week has passed. We are getting closer and closer to Christmas and I wish it would snow outside. But we are stuck with 8 degrees Celsius and cloudy weather. I have just seen the sun for a couple of hours this week.
As you know I been home sick this week. All week, so I have missed the first two lectures of my new course, but I have maxing friends that have sent me their notes. And this week last two classes were cancelled because the professor got sick. And that’s fine by me because that means I hopefully am not sick when they are rescheduled.
If you read my post from Monday night, you know my husband had to go to the Emergency Room, but the doctors think it was just his cold and fever that was the problem. He is still not okay. And I am actually still worried about him. He hates going to the doctor, but I feel like I might have to convince him to go next week if he doesn’t get better.
Oracle and Zelda on a walk this week
I got some amazing news on Tuesday afternoon, but I will share that with you in another post later on. Right now I just want to keep it secret for a little while longer. But it’s about the same thing that I wrote a post about for a couple of weeks ago. You can read it here.
And as you might have read on Wednesday, my husband and I had been together for 12 years that day. We did not calibrate because we both were sick so we will do that another day.
My husband and I in autumn 2007.
Friday I went to my grandmother’s house to start going through the things that we are dividing between my father, my uncle, my brother and me. My grandmother passed away in August, and my father and uncle have been going through her house for about two months now dividing things between them and now they thought it was my brother and my time to see if we wanted anything after her and my grandfather. It was really hard being there and going through her things. I miss her so much. But I am thankful for all the memories and that I get to keep some things as a memory after her. I am going back today to look at some more things and see my uncle.
And this afternoon my husband and I are eating dinner with my mother, my father, my brother, my sister-in-law and my nephew at my parent’s apartment.
I also got the news on Friday, that I passed my Statistic Exam. I am so happy. Now I can focus fully on my Law course and place the statistic books in my bookshelf. And hopefully, I will never study Statistics again.
It’s a cloudy Saturday here in Sweden and I am still not over my cold, but it’s time for this week’s Self-Care post.
There are so many ways to take care of yourself. And I have already cared some with you. One thing I like to do is take walks, short or long. You get out in the fresh air and you can think. Also, you get exercise which is important and good for you.
I usually walk with my dogs. And my husband is with me at least one walk a day. For me is the walking a way to relax. Not see the things that I need to do at home, or with my studying. Just to walk and think about whatever comes to my mind. Yesterday when my husband and I took the last walk of the days with the dogs, I thought about the moon. And that was relaxing for me.
Oracle and Zelda on a walk.
Walking also gives me perspective over things. For example, when I got stuck on an assignment for school I can take a walk and relax, and I usually get a new idea when I am out in the fresh air.
Do you take a walk every day? Have an amazing Saturday and if you can try taking a walk today. Alone or in the company with dogs, friends and/or family.
It’s time for self-care Saturday and today I want to share with you one of my favourite self-care routines. Skin Care. I feel so much better after I have gone through my skincare routine. It helps me relax and I know that I take care of my self when I do it. And I know that my skin gets better when I take care of it and I will feel better because my face isn’t full of acne and blemishes.
When I go through my regular skincare rutin it takes about 10-15 minutes. And if I also take a mask it takes about 10-15 minutes more. I try to do it morning and evening. If you don’t have a skincare rutin, I can really recommend to try it.
I have tried some different brands of skin-care and the one that I love and that’s works with my allergies and other problems are; Artistry.
Right now I use (THIS IS NOT A PAID AD):
Artistry Hydra-V Fresh Foaming Cleanser ~ Cleans my skin and hydrates it.
Artistry Hydra-V Fresh Toner ~ A toner that takes away the last of the impurity on the skin.
Artistry Hydra-V Vital Skin Serum Concentrate ~ A serum that helps me with moisture and hydrating my skin.
Artistry Youth Xtend Serum Concentrate ~ A serum to help me with the wrinkles I already have and to prevent wrinkles that I will get in the future.
Artistry Hydra-V Refreshing Gel ~ My day and night crème that hydrates my skin and its also kind of cooling.
Artistry Youth Xtend Crème Enrichissate ~ My eye crème that a use to get my puffiness under the eyes to get down and to help me prevent future wrinkles.
And I at least once a week I use these masks:
Artistry Hydra-V Refreshing Moisture Mask ~ A mask to hydrate the skin.
Artistry Essentials Pore Cleansing Masque ~ Artistry Essentials are no longer sold here in Sweden, so now I am going to buy this one: Deep Cleansing Mask ARTISTRY™.
And when I have a lot of acne I use this product: Artistry Essentials anti-blemish, that now is replaced with this one: Anti-Blemish Gel Treatment essentials by ARTISTRY™.
* This is not a paid ad. I just wanted to share my skin-care with you all when I talked about self-care.
We don’t celebrate Halloween in my family. I have never been at a Halloween party as far as I know. But I wouldn’t mind throwing one in the future. But my husband doesn’t find that interesting.
Today I at Campus for half the day. I am meeting my group for our group-assignments that is due on Monday. The I am meeting my husband and we are having lunch together.
This week have so far been kind of hectic. On Monday I had my exam and my husband had surgery. Then yesterday I was at Campus to get assignments for the last two weeks of my statistic course. I have a group-assignment and an individual assignment.
Now I am waiting for my group members. Three really nice women that I haven’t worked with before, but I feel like I am in a really good group.
And if you have Netflix and looking for something to see today. I have heard that this is really good:
I don’t really know what happened. I have had an okay day, but now in the afternoon, I started feeling down. I am feeling like I want to crawl down in a hole and not come out. This is a feeling I hate to have and I am trying to turn this day around.
I am feeling drained by the lack of sleep and the worries about Oracle. By what I have observed today I want to say that she is feeling better, but I am not sure. I have spent the last two days at home, but today I want into campus to have a computer lab about statistics. My father had the dogs while I was away and I am really thankful for that.
Tomorrow I have an early lecture and then I really need to continue with my studying for the exam. I am a little nervous about the exam, but I am going to do my best and that just have to be enough.
Right now I am fighting to keep my eyes open, but I have so much more to do today. The dogs need to get food and then a walk. My husband is cooking dinner for us, so I need to eat. And I really should pack my bag for tomorrow. And put the dog cages in the car, so I don’t need to stress about that tomorrow morning. Plus I have a few emails I need to send away.
The Not So Secret Diary of Nea 