Motivational Monday ~ 11th October

A late Motivational Monday post today. I was going to ignore posting today, but I wanted to post it so here I am doing it anyway.

Last week was both a great week and a hard week. I will not go in to the hard parts of the week, more than I got to know how long the waiting list to see a psychologist in my county was. Some other things also occurred, but I am choosing to keep those private, because they are not really mine to talk about.

But the great things that happend, or the greates was that I finallly got the results of my Master Thesis. The week before I defended my thesis and last week I got the news that I passed. My thesis was accepted and now I am one step closer to getting my Masters Degree. I am so happy I could burst. I have worked so hard on this and it paid of. Even times I wanted to quiet I still continued to work.

But now its time for this weeks Motivational Quote.

I choose this as I thought it was fitting to my situation and not giving up made my master thesis become finished and now accepted. So don’t give up. Keep on fighting. You can do it!

I wish you all a fantastic week.

Love, Nea

Important to remember

Sometime you need to make decisions that are hard, even though you know that it is for your own sake. Like today. I had to withdraw from a course, because I need to finish my master thesis and I can’t do that and study 100%. That would mean that I would be putting in at least 80 hours weeks until the end of September. And my mental health would not handle that. I would be a wreck.

It feels like a failure, but I needed to do this for me. For my health. For my well-being. I need to be better at realizing that it is: It is okay to put yourself first. It is okay to make sure that you don’t stress to much.

Maybe some of you also need to remember that. I don’t know. But I have promised myself as well as my husband to be better at putting my health above studying and getting good grades. It is not the end of the world if I fail, my health is more important.

Just needed to get this out of my head, and I though it might be something someone else needed to read (hear).

Motivational Monday ~ 10th of May

It’s May and I have not been active on here for awhile. Its because I have been so stressed and spent almost all my time writing and researching for my masters thesis. At the same time my husband has been away a lot at work so it has been me alone who have to take care of all the house chores, the dogs and getting us all feed.

Today I am giving myself a few minutes of peace before I continue to work at it. I have a deadline at 8 o’clock Friday morning, and then as much as possible of the thesis should be finished. Right now it feels like this week is going to be a even more stressful week. My husband will be working long hours and I will probably do at least 12 hours a day of writing. This means that this week I really need to be motivated. Therefore I chose this quote to be this weeks motivational quote:

I chose this quote since this is one of the things I am telling myself. I know that one day it will all be worth it and that when I look back at all this stress I will be so proud of myself.

Now I am going to get back to working on my thesis. I wish you all an amazing week and remember you can do this! I believe in you!

Love, Nea

Life happens

In the middle of January I started my fifth year at University. Saying it out loud seems crazy, for two reasons. First, because a lot of people did not think I would even make it through one term at University because of my mental health problems. If you were one of them, well than I just want to say: “Fuck you!” I am stronger than you thought.

Secondly, because I was only planing on studying at University for 3 years to take my Bachelors Degree, which I have taken, but life happens. Or more exactly I had one exam hanging over me when I finished the thesis in the begining of January last year, so I had to retake it in March. Which meant that I studied one more term to have something to do while I waited to retake that exam. Than Covid happend and a lot of places would not hire people right out of University, so I countinued to study. And now I am here working on my Masters Thesis and If I take one more term after the summer I will have my Masters. And that sounds even more crazy.

I have showed so many people who doubted me that I am stronger than they think and that I will not be defined or limited by my mental health. It has not always been easy doing this, but with the support of my husband and my family and friends I have done this. I also managed to study one term abroad in Edinburgh, an experience I will always value.

I have lost a couple friends over the time, but that is mostly people who can’t handle my success or that have not been able to handle that I still have mental health problems. But I am better without these people. The friends I have gotten over the time I have studied that have stayed with me are true friends. The kind you can call whenever just to talk.

If I can do this then I know that you can go after what you want as well! Go after your dreams.

Love, Nea

150 %

Yesterday was Monday and I did not post a Motivational Monday post. And the reason why was that I yesterday started studying 150 % and had three lectures back to back with only one hours lunch. I did not have time to write a post in the morning, since I needed to wake up, take care of the dogs and get ready for my day. My lunch hour was spent trying to calm down and get through the rest of the day. I though about posting a motivational post today, but so far I have studied, watched a recorded lecture and planed a bit of my studying for the next couple of days.

Some of you might wonder why I did not just write my Motivational Monday post this weekend and then schedule it. The truth is I did not think about it. I spent this weekend kind of stressed over my next 10 weeks with all the study load I have and how I will make it work with my dogs, having time for my husband and family as well as having time for housework and me time.

I am going to try and get a Motivational Monday Post out next week, but we will see. I have my first assignment due on Monday.

I wish you all a fantastic week and keep on fighting. I know I will.

Love, Nea

No Motivational Monday?

As some of you probably noticed I did not post a Motivational Monday post yesterday. And the truth is that time just ran away for me. I though about it when I got up, but then I had so much going on with the dogs, the washing-machine that decided not to work properly and studying for my exam on Friday. If I could sum up yesterday it was a crappy crappy day, but today is a new day and we will forget about yesterday and concentrate on the now.

So today I am sharing the song that inspires me the most at the moment. It is a song that’s been out there a while, but since I heard it the first time it has kind of stuck with me.

All I can say, maybe I really need my Motivational Monday to start the week off in the right way. I am going to try and do a post next Monday, but I don’t think that will be an issue. Next Monday I am starting a new course for Uni, since the course I am taking now ends after my exam on Friday. I am a bit nervous over the exam, but I will do my best and that is all I can do.

I am also going into town today to pick up the food I have ordered. My husband is having a full week as well and this will be the second time that I have ordered food to be packed in the foodstore by employes. This is great, becuse I saw a lot of time, I don’t have to be out and about with a lot of people who can be sick and I can stay safe.

But I know that before the year is over there are some stores I need to go to. I been doing the social distancing since early March. All my uni work I can do online, which is great and I have only been out with people when I know it’s safe and that I can control it. I never been in a shop when there are a lot of people there and I am careful. And I will continue to be so until this pandemic is over.

I hope you all are taking care of yourself and keeping your distance from people. Now I really need to start my day and get some studying done.

Love, Nea

Fall

Yesterday was the first official day of fall, but let’s be honest. It’s felt like fall a couple of weeks not with the crisp air, the leaves turning yellow, orange and red. We have started lightning fires in the fireplace and having more candles burning in the evenings. The other day I literally stumbled over some chanterelles in the woods when we where out walking. I picked them up so my husband how loves them could eat them with his dinner.

I have a fall cleaning in mind for the whole house, but I still have a lot of things I had planed on doing this summer left to do, like paint the hallway uppstairs. I hope I have the time to do that, with uni and everything else.

I also have a full shopping list of things for the house, like more blankets and candles. You can never have enough candles living in the woods when the electricity can go out at any second. Our supply is currently a bit low, but I will fix that soon.

I have a lot of work for Uni this week and in the end of next week I have a big exam. I am kind of nervous about this term paper I am working on and the exam, but I will do my best and try and keep my anxiety in check.

I wish you all an fantastic Wednesday and I hope I can post more updates and other things soon.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ 31 August

It’s Monday again and this week I will start Uni again. I feel in need for some motivation to keep the spirit up this first week. Because I know it will be brutal to start studying again.

“Believe you can, then you will.”
~ Mulan, Disney movie

I don’t know if that motivates anyone else other than me. But I know I can do this. I mean this will be my 8 semester at uni and have I managed so far then I should be able to do at least one semester more.

I wish you all an fantastic week.

Love, Nea

Getting there..

Yesterday I sent in the essay that was due, like 30 minutes before deadline. And I wrote on it until I sent it in. It was not my finest work, but it will have to due. I am trying to be more nice to myself. I am already feeling down and uni is not the most important thing in my life right now. Yes, I want to do well in school, but getting out of my depression and feeling like myself again is more important. So that is what I am working on.

My husband is the greatest support I can have right now. He really helps me get through the day. Without him I don’t really know I would be able to get out of bed in the morning. He listens to what I need from him and he gives it to me. Does not matter if I want him to push me to actually do things or if its just to hold my hand when things are extra hard.

I don’t know if I have written about it before but since December I been doing some cognitive behavioral therapy for my fear of dentists. It has been hard work, but I have gone through the whole treatment now. So now I have started treatment for fixing my teeth by a special dentist. I have a illness that has left me with damage on my teeth and this specialist is helping me fix it. It is going to be a treatment that will be ongoing for about a year and even though I am not as scared of the dentist anymore, it is sill scary. But I am doing it, because it is important.

Today I am working on a power point presentation for my essay that I have to present tomorrow after lunch. I am kind of nervous, but I will do my best.

I am slowly starting to feel better. My depression is ever present as well as my anxiety, but I feel like I can bet this. I have done it before and I know that it takes hard work and a lot of self love, but I am stronger than this shit and I know I will be even stronger for getting through this.

I wish you all an fantastic week and remember keep fighting! It is worth it.

Love, Nea

Bye Bye 2019, Hello 2020

Happy New Year! I know this is very late.. I mean we are already 20 days into the new year, but I got the flu on Christmas Eve and had it for almost 3 weeks.. After that life has been about getting caught up with all. But now I finally have a bit more time and I wanted to share a post with you.

2019 is over and it was a good year, for most parts. The year started with me following a dream and moving to Edinburgh to study a term. It was so scary but wonderfully at the same time. The first two weeks where filled with a lot of tears, but I am happy that mu husband made me stick to it. Because studying there was one of the best experiences I have ever had. And I got an amazing friend, Cat, as well.

Under 2019 we moved three times. It fells kind of crazy now, but we moved from Sweden to Edinburgh in the beginning of the year. And then back to Sweden again in the beginning of summer. We actually bought a car in Edinburgh that we drove through Europe to get home to Sweden. It was full of all our things, but it was a trip I never will forget.

Then the weekend before Christmas we moved to out new home. It was really bad timing of us to get the flu at Christmas, because it has meant that we the last couple of weeks been living in our suitcases and boxes. We are slowly getting things in the right places, but we still have a lot of things and furniture left in the old house. And one of the hard things with this is that when you are looking for something and remember that it’s in the other house 30 minutes away, by car.

The view from out front porch the other day.

But I am thankful for 2019. A year I will never forget. Now I am ready for 2020. And I am going to make the year as good as I can. I know my husband and I will have a great year together, renovating our new home to make it more ours.

I wish you all an fantastic, magical 2020.

Love, Nea