Motivational Moday – 6th May

It’s Monday again and I am kind of stressed. Tomorrow I have my two exams. I do not feel prepared even though I have studied as hard as I can. I have cold that just does not want to disappear and it’s starting to make me into me into a bitch. I want to complain about it but then I talked to a friend and she helped me. It sucks being sick, but there are so many people how are dealing with so much more then a cold.

So today I am am focusing on being grateful for my life and how far I have come. And tomorrow I will give it my best on the exams and that just have to be enough. I can’t do much more than that. And at least I have tried. At least I have given it my all.

Days like this I remember this quote:


“I never dreamed about success, I worked for it.”

that Estée Lauder said. I have worked hard to be where I am today. And I have not given up. And I won’t give up.

So if you are having a rough day or just needs some motivation anyway keep fighting. Work hard for what you want. You can get it. I mean, look at me… I am living my dream. Studying abroad even though I live with panic attacks, anxiety and depression. If I can do this, you can do whatever you want. We are all so much stronger than we think.

Now I am going to get some more studying done! Have an fantastic Monday!

Love, Nea

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Unreal feelings

Today I have finished my last essay for my time here in Edinburgh. It feels so unreal. Now all I got left on my term here is two exams that I have next week. I can hardly understand how fast the time has gone buy. I love it here in Edinburgh, but I am really homesick right now. I miss my dogs like crazy. And I know that in a months time we are on our way home.

I don’t know if I have told you already but we are going to drive home. It’s going to be a amazing road-trip with out new car that we bought here in Edinburgh last week.

But first we are going to explore Scotland some more. And I am looking forward to it. I am so happy that I took the chance to study abroad. It has been a great experience and I am having so much fun.

I will miss this amazing city when we get home. All the amazing people that I now can call my friends and the feeling I have gotten when I been here. The courage that all of this have given me. I can’t really explain it.

I hope you have an fantastic Tuesday.

Love, Nea

Time moves fast

I am back.. Or I was never really gone. I just been going through some shit these last couple of weeks. And blogging has not been my priority. But hopefully I will be able to start sharing my life with you more from now on.

A lot has happen these last couple of weeks. Like I mentioned in earlier posts my mother, brother, nephew and sister-in-law has been over for a visit. My father sadly stayed at home because of his health. He was very missed.

Now it’s about a week left until I need to hand in my last essay and the day after that I have my two exams. I am nervous about all of this, but my husband is helping me. Keeping me sane. He is just the best.

And we have bought a car. A car that we will drive around in Scotland with as a mini-vacation before we pack everything up and drive home to Sweden. I am kind of in love with the car. I don’t really know why, but maybe we won’t sell it when we get home.

In about 5 weeks time we will be home in Sweden again. It’s feels kind of crazy. I mean.. It feels like time has moved really fast the last couple of weeks. I miss my dogs like crazy. But I still want to see more of Scotland before we go home.

Now I need to continue writing on my essay. My goal is to have it finished in the beginning of the week so I can concentrate on my exams instead.

Have a fantastic Saturday!

Love, Nea

Confusing emotions

I don’t really know where to start writing today. Last week was a amazing. My mother, brother, sister-in-law and nephew came to Edinburgh for a visit. They arrived on Wednesday and left on Saturday. I got to show them my university and where we live. We also took them for a visit to Edinburgh zoo.. And spent a day walking around in Edinburgh. I was so happy to have them here and I was so grateful that they took the time to come and visit us. I have missed them like crazy. And even though I was sad that my father and dogs where not here I was very happy.

On Saturday when we said goodbye on the airport I thought I was going to break down completely, but my husband helped me through it. He reminded me that we are going to be back in Sweden in two months time and that I now need to concentrate on the last parts of my studying here. I have two exams and an essay left to write. He helped cheer me up and we took a day just spending time together watching on things on Netflix and cuddling in the couch. Just what I needed.

Then on Sunday it was my birthday. We took a couple of walks and spend time together. I was feeling sick, so we took it quiet easy. I love my husband so much. One of the reasons is because he always makes me feel better and knows how to make the best of every day. He knows I been going through a couple of hard weeks with my mental health and he helps me through it.

Yesterday was a really bad day. I was sick with fever and headache, spending the whole day in bed, trying to get better. Then in the afternoon we found out that a family friend had passed away. It has really shaken me up. And I know he has been sick for sometime, but I just can’t get my head around it. It also feels wrong that I probably won’t be able to attend his funeral.

This last week has me feeling some confusing emotions and I don’t really know what to do about it. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy for the visit, happy about my birthday with my husband and sad about my friend. And I am still sick… I am sorry if this post is strange and not something you want to read. I just needed to write it to work through it.

I hope you have an fantastic Wednesday and please take care of one an other. Be nice and appreciate the people in your life.

Love, Nea

8th of April – Motivational Monday

It’s Monday again and I have Spring Break. This week my mother, nephew, brother and sister-in-law is coming for a visit and I am looking forward to it. There are so much I want to show them here in Edinburgh. And I have missed them very much.

This weeks Monday motivational quote is:

I feel that this is an important thing to think about. You can do what ever you set your mind to. Because you are the only limit in your life. So please don’t limit yourself. Look at me. I am living with anxiety, panic attacks and depression, but I won’t let that limit my life. My dream has been for many years to study abroad and now I am doing it. Granted that it’s later in life than I had planed on. But I am doing it. And If I can go after my dreams, then I know that you can to.

So have an amazing Monday and a magical week.

Love, Nea

Spring Break

As of this Monday, I have Spring Break. Monday was a really good day. I handed in an essay and got the grad for two other essays I have done. I got an A on both of them.

But right now I am going trough a rough patch. I should be out exploring the city with my husband. Instead I am sitting in the couch writing. Because it helps me with all the feelings that I have right now. My husband is amazing and supportive, but I know it’s hard for him seeing me like this. He is doing his best to get me out of my funk. But I feel so tired. All I want to do is sleep, but when I sleep I sleep bad. I am anxious and I don’t know how to explain it.

I am working on getting better. But the stress from the last week of school is getting to me. I hope that I will feel better soon, I want to see more of what Edinburgh has to offer. And next week we will get a visit from my mother, brother, nephew and sister-in-law. I am looking forward to it. I haven’t seen them since the beginning of January.. More then 3 months.

One of the reasons why I haven’t been active here in a while is school work and that I have been feeling drained. I hope you understand that. I want to write more. I want to share more of my feelings and what is happening in my life. And I hope I can do that.

Now I am going to go back to writing and listening to music. My husband is working so I don’t want to get in his way.

I hope you all have an amazing week and if you are going through a rough patch: Please Keep Fighting. Never Give Up!!

Missing my family..

Today is a though day. I am missing my family like crazy.

I want to snuggle with my dogs and go on a long walk with them. Hear Zelda snore when she sleeps and have Oracle snuggle up in my arms. Tell them I love them and give them kisses.

I want to talk to my nephew and see him smile because we are playing with his cars. Hug him and tell him I love him. He is my little ray of sunshine.

I want to talk about photography and books with my dad and give him a hug. Tell him that I love him and how thankful I am to have him as my father.

I want to talk about the garden with my mom and hug her. Tell her I love her and how much I appreciate all the things she does for me.

My nephew and Sister-in-law.

I want to talk to my brother about his job and his son. and hug him and tell him he is the best big brother a girl can have. And that I love him.

I want to talk about baking gluten-free baking with my mother-in-law. And how grateful I am to her for raising as an amazing man as my husband. To tell her I love her and give her a hug.

I want to talk about everything with my sister-in-law. About my nephew, her new work and the plans for the house. Talk about traveling. Tell her how happy I am to have her in my life. That she and my nephew are the best things that has happen in my brothers life. And that I love her for it.

I just really miss them all. And after one week of stress to finish two essays I feel so tired and I miss them more. I know that I am almost halfway to getting home again and seeing them all. And I know that the following weeks will be packed with things to do.

I have two essays left to write. And to exams in May. And it is about two weeks until I have Spring-Break for three weeks, when I will be studying my ass of to pass my exams and finish the last essay.

My husband!

My husband is understanding and supportive and without him I would not be able to do this. He helps me through the hard days and always listens to me. I love him and I am grateful that such an amazing man loves me.

Sorry for my rant. I just needed to get this out. I wish you all an amazing Thursday!

Love, Nea