Good Bye 2020!

2020 is coming to an end and I am sitting here thinking about the year. It’s been a year that many people are looing forward to putting behind them. You could say I am the same, but I also thankful for what the year has teached me as well as that the year has made me appreciate my family more.

As some of you might have figured this year has been very hard for me, as well as other people with mental health problems. Being home in once house not being at uni or out and about as I usually am I have grown to understand that even though I am an introvert I need to be surrounded by people. Not all the time, but more than I have been this year. I been mostly at home in our small house in the middle of the woods. Since Marsh. It’s been challenging not to sleep all day and night. It’s been challenging not to let myself get lost in depression. I have got questions of why I am depressed. I have a happy marriage and are crazy about my husband. I live in a house away from people like I always wanted. I am studying and following my dreams. I have two amazing dogs. And so on and so on. But the thing that most people who do not have mental health challenges is that you can be depressed even if you are happy. I can’t help it that I some days struggle to get out of bed. That I have dark thoughts. I am working on it a lot, specially during autumn.

This year I have come to realise that I am stronger than I think and I have grown closer to my husband. He has gotten an understanding about my mental health that has been more honest than before. I have been more honest with my feelings and thoughts. Not only with my husband but with the people that are closest to me. I won’t be quiet about my struggels. I won’t keep my moth shut.

I have also learnt to find my triggers. What triggers me so I get anxius? What triggers me so I get panic attacks? and then makeing sure I can handel it. Not run for the hills, but mange to get through it in a different way than before. Thinking happy thoughts are not always a sullution and now I am facing a lot of things head on. Why did that tv-show trigger me? Why did that song trigger me? and so on. I feel it is important to know more about what is happening to me and being in isolation has helped a lot with that.

Another thing that has become clearer this year is my dreams, hopes and plans. I have a lot. I have 5 year plans, 10 year plans and so on. I know my own worth in a different way and truley belive that I deserv to feel great about myself. That I deserv to go after what I want. And I am happy to inform that my husband feels the same.

I am thankfull for my husband that always supports me, motivates me and makes me laugh. He is the only one that I can see myself spend my life with and he makes me happy.

I am thankful for my family. My parents, my brother, my sister-in-law, my necies and nephews, my brother-in-laws and my mother-in-law. The support and love I get from them are big part of me being able to study and fighting my mental health problems.

I am thankful for my best friend Cat. Even though she lives in Edinburgh she is a person I know is there for me. I can always count on her. And I miss her like crazy. Without her this year, I do not know how I would have made it.

And I am thankful for all my other friends that make me laugh. That support me.

And lastly but not the least. I am thankful for you. You who reads this. You who follow me. Thank you!

So with that I wish you all a happy new year! I hope that you all are staying safe and taking care of each other.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ December 21

It’s Monday again and only a few more days until Christmas. This month has been full of stress for me so I been trying to relax this weekend, but I have not been that successful because there are so much I want to get done.

I been trying to come up with a motivational quote for today, but I have not been able to do that. Because on thing that is stuck in my head is that a lot of people are struggling and having a hard time. Not only because it Christmas but because of the pandemic. They might be alone. They might not be able to spend Christmas with friends and family. That’s why I wanted to share this quote that I don’t actually know who has said, but that I think is important to remember. ALWAYS!

As I said, you don’t know what someone is going through. Be nice. Spread the love that the world needs right now. Be kind to one another. Smile at strangers. Help each other. Care about one another.

With this I wish you and amazing week and hope you all are health.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ December 7

It’s Monday again and I only have two more fully packed weeks of school. During that time I have two exams, two papers due and two presentations. As well as a couple of lectures and one digital study visit. I am feeling pretty overwhelmed, but I know I will get through this and that I will do my best. Which is everything I can do.

That is why this is todays motivational quote:

If you do your best that is really all you can do. Nobody is perfect and trying to be will wear you out. Just be yourself and do the best you can. It have to be enough and if somebody says something else. Well.. then they can do it themselves instead. Don’t let anybody bring you down.

I wish you all a amazing week.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ November 30

Happy Monday everybody! One day away from it to be December. I am starting to feel the Christmas cheer and this weekend it snowed a bit. Not much, but just enough for everything to be white. It is so beautiful outside and my husband and I put up some Strings of lights on our fence yesterday. It makes the snow glitter even more.

I know Christmas is not a fun time for everyone and that a lot of people feel stressed or/and overwelmed. All I can say is that Christmas do not need to be perfect. My best Christmases has been days where I been with my family and just enjoyed a quiet Christmas. I to can get stressed at times, but I try and take a deep breath and remind myself that life is not perfect and that what ever gets done gets done.

Todays motivational quote is one a friend said to me when I was having a rough time. She had read it somewhere online so I do not know where it comes from but it helped me. So I hope it can help somebody else.

You are stronger than you believe. Please remember that. And ask for help if you need it. It is nothing wrong with asking for help. I did it just last week. i was overwhelmed with my work for Uni and I just needed a break. So I got some help with the dogs at daytime by my father and my husband took on some more housework. And I am so grateful for this. They really helped me out.

Now I need to finish writing since I have a paper due today that needs some more work. I wish you all an amazing week!

Love, Nea

Black Friday, Sustainability and Covid-19

I have been having a lot of thoughts about this years Black Friday, Sustainability and the Covi-19. This is also things I have discussed with some of my friends and family.

We are less than a month away from Christmas today and I have noticed that a lot of people plan to shop their Christmas Presents on Black Friday or Black Week as I have seen a lot of online stores have. A friend asked me how I feel about all the online shopping relating to the transportation of products going here and there. Almost all the transportation equals emission that are bad for the enviroment. Therefore Black Friday is not good for the enviroment.

But I think more people will buy there Christmas presents online this year, because of Covid-19. At least I have bought most of my Christmas presents online since I am in a high risk-group. Usually I would have been in stores looking for the perfect gift. This year I have done most of my shopping online. I fill bad about it because I would have loved to do my part for the environment as well as the stores in my small town and shop form the local shops. What I did not know because I started buying Christmas resents in August was that a lot of shops offer to pick up your order and meet you outside of the store. That would have made it easier to shop. It can also be a good idea to buy present at Etsy and support small stores that have not been able to go on Christmas Markets and sell their products.

What are you thoughts?

Fangirl Friday ~ A Discovery Of Witches

I got the advice from one of my friends to watch ‘A Discovery Of Witches‘ so I did. So far there is only one season with eight episodes, but I was hooked from the first episode. And I can highly recommend you see this series. It is based on a book series called All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness. I am a bit late to the fandom, since the series premiered in 2018, but I don’t care I am hooked.

The storyline is about the reluctant witch Diana Bishop who is a professor at Yale. She is in Oxford on a research journey and she somehow get’s a hold of a missing book at the library. Scared as she finds the book to be under a spell she sends it back to the magazine. Soon a lot of creature’s are following her every step, the book has been lost for centuries and everyone wants it. Witches, demons and vampires. They thing it is the Book of Life.

Diana meets the charming Matthew Clairmont, a vampire. And he seems to be the only one that don’t threaten Diana. He intrigues her and she does something to him as well. Soon Diana is in over her head and magic is not so far gone as she would like it to be.

I have also started reading the books now and I am as hooked on the first book as I was on the tv-series. The next season of the series is suppose to be realised in January next year and I am looking forward to seeing it. But before that I will read the entire book series and I am thinking about buying the books for myself as a Christmas Present.

Matthew Goode plays Matthew Clairmont. This is an actor that I have seen and loved in Downton Abbey, Leap Year and Chasing Liberty. He is an fantastic actor and seeing him in this series just makes it so much better. I hope to see him in a lot more movies and tv-series in the future.

Diana Bishop is played by Teresa Palmer, a actress I don’t know a lot about. But she is as brilliant as Matthew Goode and the chemistry between the two is amazing. I hope to see her in a lot of movies in the future as well.

But one of the castings that I love is Alex Kingston as Diana Bishops aunt Sarah. Alex Kingston plays River Song in Doctor Who, and I am a big Doctor Who fan. So seeing her in this made me scream out loud.

I am looking forward to season two and I know I will probably rewatch season one a couple of times before that.

Have you seen the series? Have you read the books? What do you think about this story? Please let me now.

Love, Nea


When it was announced that Joe Biden won the President election the other day I almost cried. I felt hope. Hope for the world. Hope for the Black Lives Matter Movement. Hope for the environment. Hope for the future. Hope for a kinder world.

The picture is taken from a google search.

I know that Trump is claiming voting fraud, but I do not believe in that. He has no evidence. He is like a toddler having a tamper tantrum because he is not getting his way. I hoped he would take the defeat gracefully, but he does not. I think there will be a lot of pettiness from him the next coming months until Joe Biden takes over as a president, I just hope Trump does not make to much chaos.

I saw on Social Media that there are people who believe that Trump will have to be forcefully remove from the White House and they wish that Chris Evan dressed as Captain America should do the removal of Trump. I think that would be an amazing idea, but not probable.

Another thing to remember with Joe Biden wining the election is that now Kamala Harris is going to be the Vice-Precedent of the United States of America. This is historical and amazing. She will be the first woman in the position, but also the first black woman. She is a role-model for so many young girls, not only in America but over the world. A women can be in power. A woman can do what ever she sets her mind to.

“My mother used to tell me – she would tell my sister – my mother would look at me and she’d say, ‘Kamala, you may be the first to do many things, but make sure you are not the last.’ And that’s why breaking those barriers is worth it. As much as anything else, it is also to create that path for those who will come after us.”
~ Kamala Harris

As I said this election gave me hope and I hope it did the same for you.

Love, Nea

Ps. Adding Kamala Harris and Joe Biden’s speeches down below for those of you who want to listen to them again or for the first time.

150 %

Yesterday was Monday and I did not post a Motivational Monday post. And the reason why was that I yesterday started studying 150 % and had three lectures back to back with only one hours lunch. I did not have time to write a post in the morning, since I needed to wake up, take care of the dogs and get ready for my day. My lunch hour was spent trying to calm down and get through the rest of the day. I though about posting a motivational post today, but so far I have studied, watched a recorded lecture and planed a bit of my studying for the next couple of days.

Some of you might wonder why I did not just write my Motivational Monday post this weekend and then schedule it. The truth is I did not think about it. I spent this weekend kind of stressed over my next 10 weeks with all the study load I have and how I will make it work with my dogs, having time for my husband and family as well as having time for housework and me time.

I am going to try and get a Motivational Monday Post out next week, but we will see. I have my first assignment due on Monday.

I wish you all a fantastic week and keep on fighting. I know I will.

Love, Nea

The US Election

I am not a person who usually talks much about politics. I have a stand point and I know who I want to win. I been quiet about a lot of things because I believe in free will. But lately I come to realise that a lot of people don’t vote. And then they still complain about the outcome of the election. If you don’t vote you should not have anything to complain about.

The world that we live in today is making me scared and anxious. It feels like the rich people in to world get more and more power and like democracy is failing.

Look at the US where there are a lot of things that have gone wrong. They have an incompitent president that downplayed the Corona Virus and a lot of people died. Or all the shit he does that makes people turn against other people.

Look at the UK were they voted against giving out food for children at school during the holiday. Children are starving in poor family’s but the parliament are well off with food everyday.

Look at Poland about to implement a stricter abortlaw taking away the choice for woman. People are protesting, but will it change anything?

We have the black lives matters movement in almost every country. Policeman and policewomen beating up black people or killing them. Employees following black people around the store. People getting gunned down in there houses by police and nothing happens.

This is just some examples. I could find a lot more and write about. What I want to know is where is the compassion, where is the love, where is everybody’s equal right?

Today is the last day to vote in the US Election. I hope that Trump won’t win the election but with all the fake news and things he has spread around the US and everything his followers have done I fear he might win. I did not think he would have won four years ago, but now I don’t take anything for granted.

It is important that we take a stand against all the injustices in the world. Everybody can do something.

This is just something that has been in my head for a couple of days. I needed to get it out on paper.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ November 2

It’s November and Halloween is over. Not that we really celebrate Halloween in Sweden. We have another “celebration” and it is called “Alla helgons dag” where we remember the people we have lost and light candles at their graves or memorial groves. It ends up being very peaceful and beautiful when there are lights everywhere at the cemeteries.

We went late evening on Saturday to a couple of our loved ones graves and one of the memorial groves where my grandparents are buried. It was beautiful and I always leave there feeling calm.

I know that this week will be a hard week for some people, seeing as there’s the election in the US and a lot of countries have gone into lockdown again. The second wave of Covid has hit here in Sweden and I am kind of scared that everyone has forgotten to keep a distance, wash their hands and stay at home if they are feeling sick.

At these times we need a bit extra motivation and I have been trying to find the right quote to have today, but it is hard. There are a lot of great quotes out there and I wanted to find one that was just right. I have not been able to do that, but I hope you like this one.

We will get through this. We just need to keep fighting. Together. If you are in lookdown, keep in touch with friends and family via skype, zoom or whatever you use. Support one another. We will get through this. Take care of yourself and your family. Be kind to others. Follow guidelines.

That is all I have to share today. Just remember that you can do this. Have a great week and know that you are stronger than you think.

Love, Nea