First week

I have now completed my first week at University in Edinburgh. And it feels kind of strange. I still miss home, but mostly my dogs. It’s hard not seeing them every day and yesterday was one of the hardest days because Oracle turned 6 years old yesterday. I hated not being there. Not taking her to her favourite pet-store where she would have picked out her favourite chews that I would have bought for her. But I know that she has had a wonderful day with my parents. And that they gave her the chews that she loves.

This week has been full of fun things to do, some a little harder than the rest. I can’t believe that we have been living here in Edinburgh for over a week. I know I have written about my first two days at University but I want to tell you about the rest of my week.

On Wednesday we got up quite early and ate breakfast. I had a headache, but when it had become light outside we walked to our nearest Tesco, about 24-30 minute walk away and did some shopping. Then we walked back to our apartment.

In the afternoon I had an International Student Welcome at Campus so I went there. It was a lot of information and I learned things that I think will be useful in the future here in Edinburgh for me.

On Thursday I had two lectures. On in the morning and then one in the afternoon. The first one in the morning was a Business Class with about 300 students in the class. We had the lecture in a really big lecture hall. The Professor was really interesting to listen to and I think I will enjoy this class a lot. Even if I think that it can be challenging at times.

Heriot Watt University

After the lecture I had four hours before my next lecture began, so I met up with my husband and had some lunch. Then we went to the pop-up bookstore that is on campus for two weeks to buy some course literature, but they didn’t have one of the books. The staff was so nice so they called their bookstore in the city centrum a have them put a copy aside for me.

With more than two hours left before my lecture, my husband and I explored the Campus area and just spent some time together. My last lecture of the day was amazing. It was interesting and fun, and I am already looking forward to the next Thursday so I can go to the lecture again.

On Friday we took the bus into Princes Street in the morning. We went shopping in Primark on Princes Street and I found some really nice things. After that, we went to Lothian Buse’s office and bought bus cards, so we no longer need to have change for every bus ride. And then we went to the bookstore and got the book that was set aside for me and some other things.

I was really tired when we got home, but after lunch, I set out to sort out the reading I had to do for my lectures and make a schedule for my classes. And then I noticed that I had missed buying one book. So we decided to go to the city centre again on Saturday.

Our new favorite walks.

On Saturday I woke up not feeling my best, I think my nerves got the best of me. So instead of hopping on a bus into the city centre, we decided to take a small walk in the area around our apartment. The small walk became a 70 minutes walk. Then when we got back to the apartment we ate some lunch and then we took a bus into the city. It was a bit cold and windy. We hopped off the bus and walked a new way to the bookstore. At the bookstore, we bought the book that was missing for my class and then we walked to Princess Street. We walked into TK Maxx, but it was so crowded so we left almost directly. Instead, we walked to Primark here I bought some things again.. I am wondering if I should make a post about what I have bought. We will see. Then we took the tram out to Gyle Shopping Center because here they have the Disney Store. As some of you might know I love Disney. We bought a blanket and a Christmas ornament and then we walked around some in the shopping centre before we did some shopping at Morrison. Then we took the next bus home and had a nice evening eating some good food, talking and finally watching the Voice UK on the telly.

Today I am going to study and get ready for the week. I wish you all a wonderful Sunday!

Information day and First Lecture

I haven’t had the time to update you on my progress. Yesterday was a long day for me. I was so nervous and I am so thankful for my wonderful husband for trying his best to keep me calm.

We took an early bus to the University, it took about 20 minutes, and I thought it was a pain in my ass. I hate riding the bus, it always gives me anxiety, because you sit with so many other persons, that may have a lot of perfume on or be smokers, and you really have to trust the driver. But we got there in one piece and we got some time to find the place where my first meeting of the day was.

After a day of Information and Enrollment, it was finally time to go home, with the bus, again. It went a little better this time and I actually had some energy when we got back to our little apartment, which made me happy. we stayed in and I got to talk some with my parents, my brother and his fiancee and their son, via Facetime. It was nice to see them and talk to them. I miss them very much. It was my mothers birthday yesterday and it felt so wrong not to be there and celebrate her. But I figure I have to get her a present here from Edinburgh for when I get home.

Today I had my first Lecture, after lunch. This morning I tried to do a little preparation for the following weeks and mentally prepare myself for the rest of the week. My husband did some work. And after a light lunch, it was time to catch the bus back to Campus and go to my lecture. I just have to say that the lecture was fantastic. The Professor was easy to listen to and the subject was interesting and fun. I am already looking forward to next weeks lecture.

Now I am home in the apartment again and trying to think of something to do. It’s dark outside and my husband is working again. I don’t want to disturb him too much so I think I will just try and find something to do on my computer.

Tomorrow I don’t have any lectures, but I have an International Student Welcome thing in the afternoon. In the morning we will probably go to the nearest Tesco and do some shopping. And then after lunch, I will go into Campus.

Now I am going log on to Pinterest and kill some time. Have an amazing evening. I will try and be better at updating my blog.

Hard couple of DAYS!

Tomorrow is the day that School starts here in Edinburgh for me. It’s scarry and I have wanted to go home since Thursday when we arrived. It feels like something is missing. Like something is wrong… I can’t excplain it better.

I told my husband this and we had a long chat. He was very understanding and supportive. For this I am so greatful. We talked about how I miss the dogs. What makes my anxiety are through the roof. And all my fears right now. And you know what. It feels better now. It doesen’t feel completly fine. But maybe I will get there?!

We took the decision that we are going to give it 2 weeks and then se how I feel. How my mental health is and what I feel like doing. I am not a quiter but these few days I have wanted to go home and be with my dogs. And having my family just a short drive away. Not several hours away with an ocean between.

My reading nook in the apartment

I am sharing this with you becase I want to be honest. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes it’s a real pain in my ass. Days like this I hate my anxiety and panicdisorder. I usually can hold my thoughts and feelings in check. But appearently not right now…

My husband is my greatest supporter and that he believes in me. That I can do this is so helpful. I want to make him proud of me and show everyone els that I am stronger then they think.

I hope you all have an amazing Sunday. We are going to take a quiet evening in the apartment and get ready for tomorrow.

Love, Nea

Situation Sunday ~ 16th December

A hard week is soon over and a new week is just around the corner. I am so grateful for all the amazing people around me that support me. This week has been a challenge, but I made it through and because of that I am a little bit stronger. 

Today I wanted to quit. I was going to my self-defence class and I just wanted to call my friend and say that I was not feeling good. But I powered through. And I had an amazing time. It was hard at times when I had my flashbacks, but the trainers where amazing. 

After the self-defence class, my husband and I took a walk with the dogs down by the river. It was starting to get dark, but it was beautiful with the snow that was gently falling down.

Picture from today’s walk down by the river

Now I am sitting on my sofa with two sleeping dogs beside me and my husband is driving to change cars with my parents and to pick up pizza. Probably the last pizza before we move to Edinburgh. I love pizza, but we don’t eat it that much. We try to cook as much as possible, because of my food allergies. 

Now I am going to snuggle with my dogs. I hope you all have a fantastic Sunday. A happy third Advent. We are going to light the third candle when my husband gets home. 

Love, Nea

Last day at Campus

Yesterday I had my last day at campus, here in Sweden before I go to Edinburgh. It has been a hard week so far. And I am so thankful for my friends at campus for helping me through this tough week. I think that it’s more real now that we are moving. Moving away from my dogs, my family and my friends. It has always been like months away, and now its just a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to studying abroad, but I know I will miss everyone at home. 

I have always dreamed about studying in another country. But with my depression, anxiety and panic attacks I never thought I would be possible. Now, thanks to my wonderful husband’s support and the help from my family I am finally going. 

I know that I am stronger than I think. I know I can do anything I want to do and I also know that my dogs are going to be well taken care of while I am gone. And this is a quote that I try to remember.

Picture taken buy me and the quote is by: H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I missed posting a few of my planned Christmas Countdown post this week, just because I have had these bad days. But I will post them soon. 

Have an fantastic Friday!

Love, Nea

8th December ~ Self-Care Saturday

Today I don’t want to share my self-care tips with you. Today I want to share why I do self-care. And why I need to get better at it.

So this last couple of weeks have been hard on me and my mental health. I have been struggling with Statistics. I spent almost all my time studying and after the exam and assignments, I felt like a balloon that lost all its air. And then I had to wait and see if I passed the course or if I had to take the exam again. If you are or have been a Student you know what I am talking about. 

And then I started realixing that it wasent so long left until I would move over 1000 kilometer away from home. From my family. My dogs. My friends. And that got me kind of shaken up.

And on top of this we are going throw my grandmothers house and dividing the heritage between us all. It feels like my grandfather, who passed away in September 2009, and my grandmother is still there. I am just waiting for them to come down from their bedroom and ask what we are doing. I miss them so much.

For me, Self-Care is an important part to stay grounded and to take time to cope with all that is happening around me. It can very hard some days to take care of ourselves. Just brushing our teeth can be hard. But its important. And I have promised myself that I need to get better at taking care of me. 

These last couple of days I have tried to do at least 5 things a day to take care of my self (and brushing my teeth and taking a shower does not count this week). I have done my skin-care rutin, I have taken long walks, I have listened to music and I have taken time to just breath and not feel stressed over what I need to do.

I hope you all also can take some time and spend it on your self-care. You are important! You need to put yourself first sometimes!

Love, Nea

26th November ~ Motivational Monday

It’s a new week and I have so much on my mind. For this Motivational Monday, I decided to share a quote that I have to remind my self about constantly. 

“Think Continually About What You Want, Not About The Things You Fear.” ~ Brian Tracy

Bemuse I live with anxiety, depression and panic attacks, I am afraid of so many things. I am afraid something can happen to my husband, the dogs or my family. I am afraid to faint in public. I am afraid of getting a panic attack. I know this is ironic because having anxiety over this can cause a panic attack.

Sometimes I just have to think about what I want in life and not everything I am afraid of. Everyday is a struggle for me. I have a panic attack at least once a day, but I don’t let it stop me. I know I am better than that. And what I want is to get a degree and I am not going to let my fears stop me. 

And if I can do it so can you. You are so much stronger than you believe!

Love, Nea