Missing my family..

Today is a though day. I am missing my family like crazy.

I want to snuggle with my dogs and go on a long walk with them. Hear Zelda snore when she sleeps and have Oracle snuggle up in my arms. Tell them I love them and give them kisses.

I want to talk to my nephew and see him smile because we are playing with his cars. Hug him and tell him I love him. He is my little ray of sunshine.

I want to talk about photography and books with my dad and give him a hug. Tell him that I love him and how thankful I am to have him as my father.

I want to talk about the garden with my mom and hug her. Tell her I love her and how much I appreciate all the things she does for me.

My nephew and Sister-in-law.

I want to talk to my brother about his job and his son. and hug him and tell him he is the best big brother a girl can have. And that I love him.

I want to talk about baking gluten-free baking with my mother-in-law. And how grateful I am to her for raising as an amazing man as my husband. To tell her I love her and give her a hug.

I want to talk about everything with my sister-in-law. About my nephew, her new work and the plans for the house. Talk about traveling. Tell her how happy I am to have her in my life. That she and my nephew are the best things that has happen in my brothers life. And that I love her for it.

I just really miss them all. And after one week of stress to finish two essays I feel so tired and I miss them more. I know that I am almost halfway to getting home again and seeing them all. And I know that the following weeks will be packed with things to do.

I have two essays left to write. And to exams in May. And it is about two weeks until I have Spring-Break for three weeks, when I will be studying my ass of to pass my exams and finish the last essay.

My husband!

My husband is understanding and supportive and without him I would not be able to do this. He helps me through the hard days and always listens to me. I love him and I am grateful that such an amazing man loves me.

Sorry for my rant. I just needed to get this out. I wish you all an amazing Thursday!

Love, Nea

Self-Care Saturday (kind of)

It Saturday and I thought that I wanted to share a post of self-care again. I have not really had time for this blog this last couple of weeks. I have spent so much time as possible to get into living here in Edinburgh. It’s been scary and amazing at the same time. I really love it here, but I miss my dogs and my family.

I have had problems with anxiety and panic attacks these last couple of weeks. I have and am scared of the world outside the door of our apartment. Every day has been a kind of struggle. I don’t want to go home, but I am tired of being scared. I am tired of the anxiety in my body every damn day. I just want to feel good.

Do you know what I do? I hug my husband a lot. I try and think of things I want to do here in Scotland. Things I want to see. And I try to read as much as possible about Scotland. I take walks with my husband in our Neighbourhood. Edinburgh is a fantastic city. I try talking to new people in school.

Sign that I see almost every day when I walk around the river Leith.

I try as hard as I can to not let my fears and anxiety keep me from living. I am only here for about four months more and I know that I don’t want to miss out because I am scared. I mean, I am here. If I have gotten this far I can do it all.

I know this was not really a self-care Saturday post as I usually did them but I wanted to share this… And maybe I can try to write a better post next Saturday.

Have a fantastic Saturday night. I am going to eat good food and watch The Voice UK.

Love, Nea

Hard couple of DAYS!

Tomorrow is the day that School starts here in Edinburgh for me. It’s scarry and I have wanted to go home since Thursday when we arrived. It feels like something is missing. Like something is wrong… I can’t excplain it better.

I told my husband this and we had a long chat. He was very understanding and supportive. For this I am so greatful. We talked about how I miss the dogs. What makes my anxiety are through the roof. And all my fears right now. And you know what. It feels better now. It doesen’t feel completly fine. But maybe I will get there?!

We took the decision that we are going to give it 2 weeks and then se how I feel. How my mental health is and what I feel like doing. I am not a quiter but these few days I have wanted to go home and be with my dogs. And having my family just a short drive away. Not several hours away with an ocean between.

My reading nook in the apartment

I am sharing this with you becase I want to be honest. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes it’s a real pain in my ass. Days like this I hate my anxiety and panicdisorder. I usually can hold my thoughts and feelings in check. But appearently not right now…

My husband is my greatest supporter and that he believes in me. That I can do this is so helpful. I want to make him proud of me and show everyone els that I am stronger then they think.

I hope you all have an amazing Sunday. We are going to take a quiet evening in the apartment and get ready for tomorrow.

Love, Nea

Last day at Campus

Yesterday I had my last day at campus, here in Sweden before I go to Edinburgh. It has been a hard week so far. And I am so thankful for my friends at campus for helping me through this tough week. I think that it’s more real now that we are moving. Moving away from my dogs, my family and my friends. It has always been like months away, and now its just a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to studying abroad, but I know I will miss everyone at home. 

I have always dreamed about studying in another country. But with my depression, anxiety and panic attacks I never thought I would be possible. Now, thanks to my wonderful husband’s support and the help from my family I am finally going. 

I know that I am stronger than I think. I know I can do anything I want to do and I also know that my dogs are going to be well taken care of while I am gone. And this is a quote that I try to remember.

Picture taken buy me and the quote is by: H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I missed posting a few of my planned Christmas Countdown post this week, just because I have had these bad days. But I will post them soon. 

Have an fantastic Friday!

Love, Nea

Liseberg ~ Throwback Thursday

At the beginning of December 2010, I went to Gothenburg with my mother and a friend to visit another friend. We spent the weekend shopping and visiting Christmas at Liseberg. It was a magical weekend and I will always remember it.

Down below are pictures from Liseberg:

Christmas at Liseberg was amazing. There were lights everywhere and it was so beautiful. You really got into the Christmas spirit.

I hope that I can go there again. Maybe next year?

Nephew ~ Thankful Tuesday

It’s time for Thankful Tuesday again and today I want to share my love and how thankful I am to have my little nephew (my brothers son) in my life.

He is a constant ray of sunshine and even on my hardest days he always makes me smile. He is turning 2 years old in February and I still remember the first time I saw him. He was so tiny. He was born 6 weeks to early and gave us all a scare, but he is a healthy and happy baby. With so much love to give.

I spent some time with him on Sunday when my husband and I were to my parents for dinner. He had a cold, but still smiled and talked on. He has started talking more and more, and I think he will soon say whole sentences. Now it’s more: Bil (Car in Swedish), Mamma (mother in Swedish), Pappa (father in Swedish), där (there in Swedish) and some other words.

My nephew and sister-in-law for a walk in the woods.

He loves my dogs. Often pointing at them saying: Där! And he loves petting them and sometimes he tries giving them his toys in the hopes that they will play with them. But Oracle and Zelda don’t find cars that interesting to play with. 

And you should here his laugh. I am seriously thinking about recording it to use as my ringtone or notification sound on my phone.

As you probably can tell. I love my nephew very much.

Iron Man ~ Fangirl Friday

So with the recent death of Stan Lee, I wanted to change today’s planned post to a post that honours him. And because I wrote about Stan Lee the other day I thought it was fitting that I today write about Iron Man. A character that Stan Lee created with Larry Lieber, Don Heck and Jack Kirby.

I want to write about the first Iron Man movie that came out in 2008.

Iron Man is about Tony Stark, billionaire and playboy. He is the son of Howard Stark, a legendary inventor. Tony Stark is going to give a weapons presentation to a unit in Iraqi, but his Humvee is attacked and Tony is taken, hostage. He is hurt and to survive he must have a car battery attached to his heart. He figures out a way to make the battery smaller and now Iron Man is born. He escapes and back in at home he starts building a better Iron Man suit. But someone wants to take Stark Industries technology and use it for something. 

“Iron Man. That’s kind of catchy. It’s got a nice ring to it. I mean it’s not technically accurate. The suit’s a gold titanium alloy, but it’s kind of provocative, the imagery anyway.” ~ Tony Stark (when reading the Newspaper)

Tony Stark is portrayed by Robert Downey Jr. and his assistant Pepper Potts is portrayed by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Stan Lee has a cameo in this movie like he does in many other Marvel movies. Watch it here:

Stan Lee’s cameo in Iron Man (2008)

I love the Iron Man movies, because much like the tagline: “Heroes aren’t born. They’re built.” I feel like everyone can become a hero. And we all need heroes in our lives. And there are many different kinds of heroes. You can be someone who to stand up for those who doesn’t have a voice. Or someone who saves animals that doesn’t have a home. Or a firefighter. A policeman. A doctor. Someone who fights for human rights. 

I also love Iron Man because I think the story is brilliant. I love watching Marvel movies and tv-show because I feel like it’s quality in the production and the storylines are interesting and different. 

If you haven’t watched Iron Man yet, its about time to do so now…

Love, nea