Tag: Edinburgh

Self-Care Saturday (kind of)

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Edinburgh, Great Britain, Heriot-Watt University, Mental Health, Panic attacks, picture, Self-Care Saturday, Study Abroad, StudyingLeave a comment

It Saturday and I thought that I wanted to share a post of self-care again. I have not really had time for this blog this last couple of weeks. I have spent so much time as possible to get into living here in Edinburgh. It’s been scary and amazing at the same time. I really love it here, but I miss my dogs and my family.

I have had problems with anxiety and panic attacks these last couple of weeks. I have and am scared of the world outside the door of our apartment. Every day has been a kind of struggle. I don’t want to go home, but I am tired of being scared. I am tired of the anxiety in my body every damn day. I just want to feel good.

Do you know what I do? I hug my husband a lot. I try and think of things I want to do here in Scotland. Things I want to see. And I try to read as much as possible about Scotland. I take walks with my husband in our Neighbourhood. Edinburgh is a fantastic city. I try talking to new people in school.

Sign that I see almost every day when I walk around the river Leith.

I try as hard as I can to not let my fears and anxiety keep me from living. I am only here for about four months more and I know that I don’t want to miss out because I am scared. I mean, I am here. If I have gotten this far I can do it all.

I know this was not really a self-care Saturday post as I usually did them but I wanted to share this… And maybe I can try to write a better post next Saturday.

Have a fantastic Saturday night. I am going to eat good food and watch The Voice UK.

Love, Nea

Burns Nicht (Burns Night)

On By NeaIn EdinburghLeave a comment

It’s Burns Nicht here in Edinburgh. It’s a celebration for the poet Robert Burns. There are held Burns suppers all around Scotland today. And they will eat good food and have an amazing time. I have learnt about this in one of my classes. It is celebrated on 25th January because its Robert Burns birthday and it’s been celebrated for over 200 years if I have understood correctly.

I had the chance to go to a Burns Supper Ball this week, but because I was not feeling good, I decided to stay home instead. I know that their are video clips on how a Burns supper is celebrated on youtube if you are interested to know more.

I know that Burns poem “Adress to a Haggis” is read at these gatherings. You can read it down below.

Address to a Haggis by Robert Burns

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face, 
Great chieftain o the puddin’-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o’ a grace
As lang’s my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
‘Bethankit’ hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither’d rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He’ll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow’rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis

Source: http://www.robertburns.org.uk/Assets/Poems_Songs/toahaggis.htm

In the source, you can even read the English translation.

Monday morning

On By NeaIn Edinburgh, Great Britain, Heriot-Watt University, Study Abroad, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

It’s just a couple of hours until the first lecture of the day. And this is the first lecture I will have in this course here in Edinburgh. I am a little nervous. I missed last Monday’s lecture because I was enrolling and I was told that there were no lectures at all that Monday, but there where.

I have been reading up for this lecture and I hope it’s as interesting as I believe it to be. I hope I get a great Professor that is easy to listen to.

I have been spending the morning reading and trying to get a good look at this week’s schoolwork. I believe that I really need to stay focused on the work ahead of me. In Sweden, we only read one subject at a time. But here in Edinburgh, I read four at the same time. I have 5 papers that are all due before the first of April and then two exams at the end of April beginning of May.

I wish you all a fantastic Monday.

Love, Nea

First week

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Books, Depression, Edinburgh, Fangirl, Great Britain, Heriot-Watt University, Life, Love, Mental Health, Oracle, Panic attacks, Situation Sunday, Study Abroad, Studying, University, ZeldaLeave a comment

I have now completed my first week at University in Edinburgh. And it feels kind of strange. I still miss home, but mostly my dogs. It’s hard not seeing them every day and yesterday was one of the hardest days because Oracle turned 6 years old yesterday. I hated not being there. Not taking her to her favourite pet-store where she would have picked out her favourite chews that I would have bought for her. But I know that she has had a wonderful day with my parents. And that they gave her the chews that she loves.

This week has been full of fun things to do, some a little harder than the rest. I can’t believe that we have been living here in Edinburgh for over a week. I know I have written about my first two days at University but I want to tell you about the rest of my week.

On Wednesday we got up quite early and ate breakfast. I had a headache, but when it had become light outside we walked to our nearest Tesco, about 24-30 minute walk away and did some shopping. Then we walked back to our apartment.

In the afternoon I had an International Student Welcome at Campus so I went there. It was a lot of information and I learned things that I think will be useful in the future here in Edinburgh for me.

On Thursday I had two lectures. On in the morning and then one in the afternoon. The first one in the morning was a Business Class with about 300 students in the class. We had the lecture in a really big lecture hall. The Professor was really interesting to listen to and I think I will enjoy this class a lot. Even if I think that it can be challenging at times.

Heriot Watt University

After the lecture I had four hours before my next lecture began, so I met up with my husband and had some lunch. Then we went to the pop-up bookstore that is on campus for two weeks to buy some course literature, but they didn’t have one of the books. The staff was so nice so they called their bookstore in the city centrum a have them put a copy aside for me.

With more than two hours left before my lecture, my husband and I explored the Campus area and just spent some time together. My last lecture of the day was amazing. It was interesting and fun, and I am already looking forward to the next Thursday so I can go to the lecture again.

On Friday we took the bus into Princes Street in the morning. We went shopping in Primark on Princes Street and I found some really nice things. After that, we went to Lothian Buse’s office and bought bus cards, so we no longer need to have change for every bus ride. And then we went to the bookstore and got the book that was set aside for me and some other things.

I was really tired when we got home, but after lunch, I set out to sort out the reading I had to do for my lectures and make a schedule for my classes. And then I noticed that I had missed buying one book. So we decided to go to the city centre again on Saturday.

Our new favorite walks.

On Saturday I woke up not feeling my best, I think my nerves got the best of me. So instead of hopping on a bus into the city centre, we decided to take a small walk in the area around our apartment. The small walk became a 70 minutes walk. Then when we got back to the apartment we ate some lunch and then we took a bus into the city. It was a bit cold and windy. We hopped off the bus and walked a new way to the bookstore. At the bookstore, we bought the book that was missing for my class and then we walked to Princess Street. We walked into TK Maxx, but it was so crowded so we left almost directly. Instead, we walked to Primark here I bought some things again.. I am wondering if I should make a post about what I have bought. We will see. Then we took the tram out to Gyle Shopping Center because here they have the Disney Store. As some of you might know I love Disney. We bought a blanket and a Christmas ornament and then we walked around some in the shopping centre before we did some shopping at Morrison. Then we took the next bus home and had a nice evening eating some good food, talking and finally watching the Voice UK on the telly.

Today I am going to study and get ready for the week. I wish you all a wonderful Sunday!

Information day and First Lecture

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Edinburgh, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Study Abroad, Studying, Travle, UniversityLeave a comment

I haven’t had the time to update you on my progress. Yesterday was a long day for me. I was so nervous and I am so thankful for my wonderful husband for trying his best to keep me calm.

We took an early bus to the University, it took about 20 minutes, and I thought it was a pain in my ass. I hate riding the bus, it always gives me anxiety, because you sit with so many other persons, that may have a lot of perfume on or be smokers, and you really have to trust the driver. But we got there in one piece and we got some time to find the place where my first meeting of the day was.

After a day of Information and Enrollment, it was finally time to go home, with the bus, again. It went a little better this time and I actually had some energy when we got back to our little apartment, which made me happy. we stayed in and I got to talk some with my parents, my brother and his fiancee and their son, via Facetime. It was nice to see them and talk to them. I miss them very much. It was my mothers birthday yesterday and it felt so wrong not to be there and celebrate her. But I figure I have to get her a present here from Edinburgh for when I get home.

Today I had my first Lecture, after lunch. This morning I tried to do a little preparation for the following weeks and mentally prepare myself for the rest of the week. My husband did some work. And after a light lunch, it was time to catch the bus back to Campus and go to my lecture. I just have to say that the lecture was fantastic. The Professor was easy to listen to and the subject was interesting and fun. I am already looking forward to next weeks lecture.

Now I am home in the apartment again and trying to think of something to do. It’s dark outside and my husband is working again. I don’t want to disturb him too much so I think I will just try and find something to do on my computer.

Tomorrow I don’t have any lectures, but I have an International Student Welcome thing in the afternoon. In the morning we will probably go to the nearest Tesco and do some shopping. And then after lunch, I will go into Campus.

Now I am going log on to Pinterest and kill some time. Have an amazing evening. I will try and be better at updating my blog.

Hard couple of DAYS!

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Edinburgh, Great Britain, Life, Love, Mental Health, Panic attacks, picture, Study Abroad, Studying, TravleLeave a comment

Tomorrow is the day that School starts here in Edinburgh for me. It’s scarry and I have wanted to go home since Thursday when we arrived. It feels like something is missing. Like something is wrong… I can’t excplain it better.

I told my husband this and we had a long chat. He was very understanding and supportive. For this I am so greatful. We talked about how I miss the dogs. What makes my anxiety are through the roof. And all my fears right now. And you know what. It feels better now. It doesen’t feel completly fine. But maybe I will get there?!

We took the decision that we are going to give it 2 weeks and then se how I feel. How my mental health is and what I feel like doing. I am not a quiter but these few days I have wanted to go home and be with my dogs. And having my family just a short drive away. Not several hours away with an ocean between.

My reading nook in the apartment

I am sharing this with you becase I want to be honest. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes it’s a real pain in my ass. Days like this I hate my anxiety and panicdisorder. I usually can hold my thoughts and feelings in check. But appearently not right now…

My husband is my greatest supporter and that he believes in me. That I can do this is so helpful. I want to make him proud of me and show everyone els that I am stronger then they think.

I hope you all have an amazing Sunday. We are going to take a quiet evening in the apartment and get ready for tomorrow.

Love, Nea

One week from now…

On By NeaIn About me, Anxiety, Edinburgh, Study Abroad, TravleLeave a comment

I will probably be sitting on the sofa in our apartment in Edinburgh. Early Thursday next week we are being driven to the airport. And I haven’t started packing yet. This is starting to stress me… I thought I had a lot more time. The last couple of weeks have gone by so fast.

Today I have washed a lot of clothes and I need to wash a whole lot more. I have the bags at least. We bought 3 new bags a couple of months ago, but I need to buy luggage tags for them.

Do anyone have any good packing tips? I hate packing and I feel like I always miss something when I pack. I started writing a packing list a couple of months ago and I think our bags will be full. I was wondering if I should buy more bags, but we are already taking tree large bags that we are going to check in and we are each going to have a carry-on bag.

Now I have to go and hang laundry. Have an fantastic Thursday evening!

Love, Nea

Last day at Campus

On By NeaIn About me, Anxiety, Christmas, Christmas Countdown, Depression, Edinburgh, Great Britain, Life, Love, Mental Health, Panic attacks, picture, quotes, Study Abroad, Studying, Thankful, Travle, UniversityLeave a comment

Yesterday I had my last day at campus, here in Sweden before I go to Edinburgh. It has been a hard week so far. And I am so thankful for my friends at campus for helping me through this tough week. I think that it’s more real now that we are moving. Moving away from my dogs, my family and my friends. It has always been like months away, and now its just a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to studying abroad, but I know I will miss everyone at home. 

I have always dreamed about studying in another country. But with my depression, anxiety and panic attacks I never thought I would be possible. Now, thanks to my wonderful husband’s support and the help from my family I am finally going. 

I know that I am stronger than I think. I know I can do anything I want to do and I also know that my dogs are going to be well taken care of while I am gone. And this is a quote that I try to remember.

Picture taken buy me and the quote is by: H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I missed posting a few of my planned Christmas Countdown post this week, just because I have had these bad days. But I will post them soon. 

Have an fantastic Friday!

Love, Nea