We don’t celebrate Halloween in my family. I have never been at a Halloween party as far as I know. But I wouldn’t mind throwing one in the future. But my husband doesn’t find that interesting.
Today I at Campus for half the day. I am meeting my group for our group-assignments that is due on Monday. The I am meeting my husband and we are having lunch together.
This week have so far been kind of hectic. On Monday I had my exam and my husband had surgery. Then yesterday I was at Campus to get assignments for the last two weeks of my statistic course. I have a group-assignment and an individual assignment.
Now I am waiting for my group members. Three really nice women that I haven’t worked with before, but I feel like I am in a really good group.
And if you have Netflix and looking for something to see today. I have heard that this is really good:
I don’t really know what happened. I have had an okay day, but now in the afternoon, I started feeling down. I am feeling like I want to crawl down in a hole and not come out. This is a feeling I hate to have and I am trying to turn this day around.
I am feeling drained by the lack of sleep and the worries about Oracle. By what I have observed today I want to say that she is feeling better, but I am not sure. I have spent the last two days at home, but today I want into campus to have a computer lab about statistics. My father had the dogs while I was away and I am really thankful for that.
Tomorrow I have an early lecture and then I really need to continue with my studying for the exam. I am a little nervous about the exam, but I am going to do my best and that just have to be enough.
Right now I am fighting to keep my eyes open, but I have so much more to do today. The dogs need to get food and then a walk. My husband is cooking dinner for us, so I need to eat. And I really should pack my bag for tomorrow. And put the dog cages in the car, so I don’t need to stress about that tomorrow morning. Plus I have a few emails I need to send away.
Today I overslept.. Or no not really. I woke up with my husband this morning and then he and the dogs left for work and doggie daycare. And I ate breakfast in peace and with no stress. But then I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up just 30 minutes before my lecture. And I have 1 hours drive to campus and I had nothing packed for school and I needed to ready. So I decided to not stress because I know I would only get to campus when it max was 20 minutes left of the lecture.
So now I am sitting here at home and trying to wake up. I have another class this afternoon that I am going to go to. But first I am eating my lunch at home and then I am going to campus. The class is a late one and right now I am fine with it. This is the last day this week I am having a late day on campus.
This has really been a Hump Day so far. I am looking forward until this day is over. I don’t know how long my husband is working today. He might have to do some overtime again. But luckily he bought groceries yesterday so we have everything at home to cook dinner tonight. Just one of the many reasons why I love him.
Today started badly with a headache. And I went home from campus earlier then I had planned. And I slept for a few hours. Now I am babysitting my nephew (brothers son). He is fast asleep in his bed and I am trying to study, but my headache isn’t all gone and I have an early lecture tomorrow that I really need to go to.
And I am hoping I can get some shopping done tomorrow as well. I need a coat to wear to campus and to business meetings. And I hope I can find one that fits me and that doesn’t contain wool.
I am struggling a bit with my motivation for studying. I need to study this weekend, but on Saturday my husband and I are going to my niece’s Christening. And I think that I won’t have time at all that day to study. Which leaves me with Friday afternoon/evening and Sunday. Its about three weeks until my exam and I feel like really need to study.
Have an amazing evening. I am going to read some in my course literature.
This morning I woke up at 4 am. And 15 minutes later my alarm went off. It was just to go up and eat breakfast. The reason that I got up so early is that my husband and I drove in together this morning. He starts his job at 7 am in the morning, but it takes an hour to get to campus and we had to drop the dogs at doggie daycare before 7 am.
Now I am sitting at campus listening to a music and trying to motivate myself to study. And wishing that I drank coffee so that I could wake up. But I don’t drink anything with caffeine.
I have been thinking these last days about that I feel like this world is getting more and more hard. We are harder against each other. There is more bullying around us. In school and online. And people are less understanding with other people and their feelings. People are more selfish. I wish that we could spread love and not hate.
I have been told by many people over the last couple of years that my “sickness” is something that makes me the wrong human being to study. That I should stay home. These are things I have never taken to heart.
I know that every one that is fighting against their mental health can overcome it. I have found that taking action is the only thing that helps me with my panic attacks. With this I mean. Do things that you know can and will sett you of. But do it small steps at a time. If you get panic attacks when you shop for groceries. Then go early in the morning or later in the evening, when there are much fewer people in the store. And have as a goal to maybe just by one or two products. And you can, of course, have someone with you as support.
And do this until you are ready to increase the number of products you by. And someday you can shop for an entire week at once.
That is my best advice. Take it slow. But do something to get yourself better. I am not saying that I don´t get panic attacks in the store. Because I do. All the time. But I can handle them better now. And I know that if I am having a rough week then I don’t shop when the stores are the busiest. You have to pick your battles. And right now I am concentrating on finishing my education. And almost all my energy is going to go to all my classes even if I am having a hard day.
This became a longer post than planned. Sorry for the rant.
October. The Month when it really feels like autumn is here. And all I want to do is sit on the couch with a blanket, a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. And some candles burning on the coffee table.
But what I need to do is: Study for my exam that is on the 29 of October. And I also need to do laundry, especially wash my mittens and scarfs. And many more things need to be done. It feels like there are more things than time. I am going through a rough patch right now, as some of you may have understood from my previous posts. And I am stressing out about all the things around me.
Yesterday I had a “normal” day at campus, but when I got home I was exhausted. I slept for about an hour on the sofa with the dogs before I had any energy to get something done.
Today I had an earlier day on campus and after that, I went to a shopping mall and got a christening present for my niece (my husband’s older brothers daughter) that is getting christen on Saturday. Something that had totally fallen out of my mind. And I realised this weekend that we had not gotten her a gift yet.
But on the plus side when I started looking for something to by for her I found the perfect Christmas gift for my nephew (my brother’s son) and also a birthday present for him. His birthday is in February.
Then it hit me. It’s just a couple of months to Christmas. I don’t know where the time has gone. It feels like September just went by without me noticing. Is it me or does time go faster when you get older than it did when you were a child?
Now I am going to study. And then it’s out in the pouring rain to walk the dogs.