I am at campus now. I had a early morning lecture and then I have an lecture in the afternoon.
I have eaten lunch with my husband and now I just want to sleep. I am happy that I don’t have any lectures tomorrow. But we will probably go in to a shopping center tomorrow and by somethings that we need.
It’s just a couple of hours until the first lecture of the day. And this is the first lecture I will have in this course here in Edinburgh. I am a little nervous. I missed last Monday’s lecture because I was enrolling and I was told that there were no lectures at all that Monday, but there where.
I have been reading up for this lecture and I hope it’s as interesting as I believe it to be. I hope I get a great Professor that is easy to listen to.
I have been spending the morning reading and trying to get a good look at this week’s schoolwork. I believe that I really need to stay focused on the work ahead of me. In Sweden, we only read one subject at a time. But here in Edinburgh, I read four at the same time. I have 5 papers that are all due before the first of April and then two exams at the end of April beginning of May.
Tomorrow is the day that School starts here in Edinburgh for me. It’s scarry and I have wanted to go home since Thursday when we arrived. It feels like something is missing. Like something is wrong… I can’t excplain it better.
I told my husband this and we had a long chat. He was very understanding and supportive. For this I am so greatful. We talked about how I miss the dogs. What makes my anxiety are through the roof. And all my fears right now. And you know what. It feels better now. It doesen’t feel completly fine. But maybe I will get there?!
We took the decision that we are going to give it 2 weeks and then se how I feel. How my mental health is and what I feel like doing. I am not a quiter but these few days I have wanted to go home and be with my dogs. And having my family just a short drive away. Not several hours away with an ocean between.
I am sharing this with you becase I want to be honest. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes it’s a real pain in my ass. Days like this I hate my anxiety and panicdisorder. I usually can hold my thoughts and feelings in check. But appearently not right now…
My husband is my greatest supporter and that he believes in me. That I can do this is so helpful. I want to make him proud of me and show everyone els that I am stronger then they think.
I hope you all have an amazing Sunday. We are going to take a quiet evening in the apartment and get ready for tomorrow.
Now its time to finally tell you the big news! Drumroll… My husband and I are moving to Scotland for 5 months because I have been nominated by my university to study at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh. I am so happy. And excited. And anxious.
We move at the beginning of January. And for those of you who wonder, the dogs are not moving with us. They will be living with my parents. I am going to miss them very much, but I know they are going to be well taken care of by my parents.
I am looking forward to Studying Abroad. It’s going to be an amazing opportunity for me to learn better English and to evolve as a person. And meet new people.
This summer, my husband and I went to Edinburgh to get a feel for the city and the campus where I am going to study. The city is amazing, and I feel bad for not spending more time there then I did, but I was sick at the beginning of our stay in England. And the Campus has big open spaces and park-like grounds so I think I will like it there a lot.
I have had migrens since Tuesday. Thats why I didn´t post a Throwback Thursday post yesterday, But I am starting to feel better now.
Teusday was a wierd day. That morning on my way to campus I almost hit a deer (roe deer). One came running out of the woods and ran in front of the car. I hit the brakes and the car skid a bit and I saw how close I was to hitting the deer. And then another deer came running out of the woods and the lorry that came from the other direction almost hit that one.
I am so glad that I didn’t hit the deer and after I was so shaky. But it was alright and I came to campus in time for my class.
And then when I got home in the afternoon I got a message that Wednesday’s class was cancelled because the professor is sick. So I didn’t have any more classes on campus for the week. It felt so weird. But when the migraine kick in I was glad to not miss any lectures because of it.
Today I am going to post the last Fangirl Friday post for a while. At least until after Christmas. Tomorrow starts Christmas Countdown, as I have written before.
I need some motivation right now. I feel drained. I want to sleep or just do nothing. I been studying since this morning and feel like I don’t want to study more. But I need to because the exam is on Monday. And I am nowhere near ready.
So please send some motivation so I get some more studying before I need to go the optician in two hours to have my eyes checked and try out a new pair of glasses. Because I have started getting headaches again and my eyesight has been getting worse. I have had glasses since I was about 9 years old, so its nothing new. I just hate trying to find glasses that I like. But I will do my best.
I am starting to get really nervous about my exam next Monday. I am studying and trying my best to be ready. But it feels like I am failing. But I won’t give up. I am going to do my best and that just needs to be enough.
Yesterday I had a bad day at campus. I had to park far from my lecture hall and when I started walking to my lecture, a little stressed, I meet a couple of people that were vaping and smoking cigarettes. I tried to hold my breath and keep away from them, but I couldn’t so I got an Asthma attack. I took some medicine and thought that I still could make it to my class. So I kept moving, but slower this time. Then when I came to the building I was going to have my lecture, I went into the toilet. But someone had been smoking in there. So after my second Asthma attack for the day, I was not feeling so good. I meet a friend and tried to not get a panic attack as well. But I just couldn’t stay on campus and go on the lecture. I was feeling weak and my chest hurt. I called my husband that picked me up.
Now I am at home, still not feeling great. And missing today’s two classes. I feel awful. But I am going to study from home today. To get ready for the exam. And I am going to get some rest, so I don’t get worse.
I hope you have a fantastic day. And this Weeks WCW post is soon out. Read it.