Category: Love

Sick dog..

On By NeaIn Life, Love, Oops..., OracleLeave a comment

I haven’t been that active here these last couple of days, because I have a sick dog at home.

On Saturday Oracle started having some problems with her stomach and since then she has been sick. My husband and I have been taking turns going out with her, both day and night. And yesterday Oracle was with my husband at work so I could go to campus for a lecture. Zelda was alone at doggie daycare, but it went really well and she was so good.

Today I am staying home with both dogs. I don’t want to leave them home alone and yesterday is the first day Oracle actually ate something. Right now she is laying beside me on the sofa sleeping. She seeks closeness all the time and I am just trying to be here for her.

This morning my husband took her out for a quick walk while I gave Zelda her breakfast. Oracle is eating food that is gentle for her tummy so she can’t eat her usually dog food. When Oracle came inside she walked around for a bit and then she tried to poop, so I got up to get her out again, but she sat down on the rug in the living room and pulled her self forward with her butt pressed against the rug. She left a brown mark after her. I was not pleased, but not angry at her. She is sick. So I called my husband who had just left and he came back and cleaned up the rug while I walked both dogs outside.

It feels like Oracle is getting better, but I still want to keep an eye on her and that’s why I am staying home today. I don’t want to leave her with anyone else.

Now I am going to try to get some studying done before I need to take the dogs outside again.

Have an amazing day!

Love, Nea

My husband – Thankful Tuesday

On By NeaIn A, Life, Love, Mental Health, Thankful TuesdayLeave a comment

I am thankful for being married to the best man I have ever meet. He is my best friend and I know that he is always there for me.

I can call him whenever I need to talk to him and he always gives me time. When I have a panic attack he just gives me exactly what I need. He listens to my problems and he is always a good sounding board to my ideas and thoughts.

He makes me laugh, even if I had a really bad day.  You know the kind of laughter that makes your stomach ache.

He supports my dreams and goals. Many of them are the same for both of us. And he always pushes me to do better and to never give up. He helps me overcome things I didn’t think I would ever be able to do. But with his help, I am now studying at a University and getting a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration (Company Economics in Swedish).

This November we have been a couple for 12 years and I don’t know what I would do without him in my life.

I could write a book about what he means to me and still not be close to finishing with all that is amazing about this man.

So to finish this post. I am thankful for my husband on this thankful Tuesday.

Mad Wednesday

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Life, Love, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

Today I am mad. But at myself. I have been having a couple of really bad days with my anxiety and my depression. I feel like a am on the brink of falling down a high cliff. And I am doing everything in my power to stop it from happening. Like I wrote in an earlier post I had a really hard Monday. I tried everything to turn it around and I actually turned it around in the evening just spending time with my wonderful dogs and my husband.

Then yesterday I dropped off the dogs with my father, I borrowed my parent’s car again and drove to campus. And when I came to campus I just couldn’t leave the car. I just froze. So I ate my lunch in the car and about 20 minutes before my class started I gathered all my energy and went to the classroom I was going to be in. It was a 2-hour class, but when it was about 10 minutes left I started to panic. it felt like the walls were closing in on me and I had no energy to fight it, so I left the class. I then had an hour to drive home, and I didn’t know if I was going to make it home. But staying at the campus was no option. So I called my husband and he talked a bit with me and really helpt med focus and feel a little better. Then when my husband really couldn’t talk more, because of his job I called my father and we talked. My parent’s car has a Bluetooth that I had my phone connected to so I can drive and talk. My husband also has one in his car and when I don’t feel my best its really good to have someone to talk to.

My father and I talked for about 45 minutes and we ended the talk when I was almost home.  It helped me with driving home and I am forever grateful that I have my awesome father that always are there to help me.

Then when I parked at home and got all my things in the house I went directly to my stash of chocolate and at a couple of pieces. After about 10 minutes at home I felt a lot better and about that time my parents came home with my dogs. So my mother and I took a walk with the dogs and just talked about who I was feeling and then about other things so I could relax. When we came back from our walk, my husband had come home. And just like that I was relaxed. I have always felt safe with my husband. He is one of the only people that I know will always be there for me and always have my back. But he also pushes me to keep fighting my demons. And I can honestly say I don’t understand how I got so lucky to spend my life with him.

We spent the evening together and just took it easy. But just like I expected my stomach started giving me trouble. I have gastric catarrh and my panic can stress my stomach and make me really sick. Long story short… I have spent the night awake with a stomach ache. So this morning I didn’t go to campus. Which means I missed a lecture and a class with calculation exercises in statistics.

Wow, I wrote longer then I thought about why I am mad at myself. I just hate when I have bad days. But like my husband usually reminds me I have come a long way these past years. I never thought that I would be able to say that I am a university student. Or that I have a drivers license. Or that I can go to the store by my self and shop.

But just so you all know I am not giving up. I plan on going to my class tomorrow and Friday’s lecture. I am going to get my bachelors degree and every obstacle in my way and every hard day is just going to make me stronger.

Sorry for the rant.

Love, Nea

 

A new week means new goals

On By NeaIn Everyday life, Life, Love, Mental Health, Oracle, Panic attacks, Studying, University, ZeldaLeave a comment

Today its Monday and so far it hasn’t been a really good day. It feels like all the things that can go wrong has gone wrong, which really isn’t true. Far from it actually. But I have to admit. I almost just gave up and crawled down in my big, cosy warm bed.

It all started this morning when I woke up. I didn’t feel good. I felt nausea and didn’t have an appetite. But this isn’t new. Its been like this for about a week. The Zelda stole and chewed on a butter knife that was in plastic so it broke. And I had to give her asparagus in case she ate some parts of the butter knife.

Then when I was driving to doggie daycare the care was making some strange noise that worries me so I drove to my brother and he calmed me down. It was nothing serious. I am borrowing my parent’s car at the moment. And the thought of it breaking and possible beeing my falt was just too much.

Now I am sitting on campus and trying to relax before I eat my lunch. And then I have a lecture. I am trying to come up with some waý to make this day better. My goal for today is to turn this day around. Something I know I can do.

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Love, Nea

My grandmother

On By NeaIn Life, LoveLeave a comment

I have been thinking about writing this post for some time now. And it’s a hard one.

My grandmother (my father’s mother) past away in the middle of August, and it left me feeling paralysed. I thought I was prepared. I mean she was over 90 years old and had been getting smaller and smaller this last couple of months, but it hit me hard. Now everyone from that generation in my life is gone. My grandmother was the last one.

I am glad that it went pretty quick in the end and that now she’s in peace. But I needed to go to her house to really get it. She is gone.

The funeral was on Friday the 7th September and I don’t know if I am going to post this. I am writing this for me. To get it out. To remember her.

My grandmother was a strong woman. She moved with my grandfather from Sweden to Norway right after the second world war. To an Oslo that had been occupied by Germany.  The war was present, maybe not so much as other parts of Europe, but it was there. Norway was poor. My grandmother didn’t speak Norwegian when she moved. But she quickly learned. Grandfather used to speak highly of how good she got. After a while, people thought she was born in Norway and not Sweden because she talked fluent Norwegian. She didn’t even have an accent.

And they had it tight with money when my father grew up, but she always made it work.

And when I grew up she taught me about manners and etiquette. But also about going after what you want in life. To let yourself dream big and think outside the box. Both her and my grandfather was really kin on my writing. And always encourage me to continue writing.

I miss her.. really much.

 

 

 

Throwback thursday

On By NeaIn Life, Love, Okategoriserade, Oracle, Throwback, ZeldaLeave a comment

My first ever throwback post. And for this I have chosen to share this picture:

It’s of my dogs Zelda and Oracle in September 2016. As you can see Zelda is just a little puppy. 😍 And she’s about 3 months old.

I remember Oracles questioning look one me when we took Zelda with us home. Oracle was used to being the only dog in the family and all the sudden she had a baby sister. It was a bit hard at first. But now Oracle adores and loves her little sister. And many nights they fall asleep laying like this together.

No lazy Saturday for me

On By NeaIn A, Anxiety, Depression, Life, Love, Mental Health, Panic attacks, UniversityLeave a comment

Good afternoon,

Yesterday was a day I just want to forget. The funeral for my grandmother was yesterday and I don’t know what I would have done without my husband. His support got me through the day. I went to campus in the morning for my two lectures and then my husband picked me up and we went to my parents to eat lunch and change into funeral clothes. When we came to the funeral all my instincts screamed: Run as fast as you can.

I really didn’t want to go inside. But my husband took my hand and together we went in. When I saw the coffin all I wanted to do was to fall down, but my husband was there by my side. I cried and I cried. And he gave me tissue after tissue. It was a beautiful ceremony and I think my grandmother would be pleased with it. It was a hard and emotional goodbye for all of us. But I hope and think she is with my grandfather now.

In the evening I was so tired and didn’t feel good at all. So we took a quiet night at home.

This morning I woke up with a fever and a cold. But I had a million things to do, many of them for school. So today I have done some of them and the rest I am doing tomorrow.

I hope you all have a wonderful day,

Love Nea

Dreading tomorrow

On By NeaIn About me, Life, Love, Mental Health, UniversityLeave a comment

Hello Everone,

Tomorrow it’s finally Friday, but tomorrow is a day I been dreading for a couple of weeks. The funeral for my grandmother (my father’s mother) is tomorrow. And I am not really ready to say goodbye yet. She passed away at home in the middle of August and I can still not get my head around it. I miss her and I wish a could tell her again how much we love her and how much she means to me. I am currently writing a post about her and her influence on my life. I am just not sure if I am going to post it here.

Writing has always been therapeutic for me. A chance to express my self without anybody interrupting me. And I can bare myself in a way I can’t if we stood face to face. That’s one of the reasons I created this blog.

But back to tomorrow. I am going to campus early in the morning. Just like today. This morning I got up at half-past four to get to campus on time. And tomorrow I need to leave about a half hour before because we are leaving the dogs at a friends house who is going to have them all day. And my husband is driving me to campus. Then he is going to work for a couple of ours. Then after my two lectures. That ends twelve, we are going to my parent’s house to eat lunch and change, it’s about 45 minutes drive from campus. Then its the funeral. So I don’t think I am going to write anything here tomorrow. I may just take a day off.

Right now I should be studying, but I can’t really get my mind in the right place. I just want to hug my dogs and not think about tomorrow. And I need chocolate.

Love, Nea

New month, new challenges!

On By NeaIn Life, Love, Mental Health, ZeldaLeave a comment

Hello,

Yesterday was not a good day, but I was determined to make today a good day. This morning my husband and I got up early. He walked Zelda over to my brother’s house because he was going to take care of her.

Then after we ate breakfast we went IKEA in Örebro and got ourselves a new bed. Our old one has been giving ous backpains and we decided that we needed a new bed the other day.

Oracle went on vacation over the weekend with my parents yesterday. So no dog was left alone at home. We were gone for a few hours and came home with an amazing bed. And its bigger than the old one, so now my husband is really happy.

We also bought new pillows for the bed and new linens. So it was a really good day.

But I had some problems in the store. Too many people are one of my triggers for my panic attacks. I had some small ones, but I kept powering through.

Tonight we will be sleeping on the pullout sofa because the bed needs to breathe for at least 12 hours.

I will try to write more about my panic tomorrow. Now I am going to enjoy an evening with my husband.

Love, Nea

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A picture from our evening walk with Zelda.

My wedding day

On By NeaIn A, Great Britain, Life, Love, Okategoriserade, Travle, WeddingLeave a comment

A and I eloped. We didn’t want to have a big party where everyone was looking at us when we exchanged our vows. So we did it legally in Sweden at the city hall in Örebro. It took about 10 minutes and our witnesses were my brother, my sister-in-law and my nephew. My brother found out the day before that he was going to witness our wedding. But this is not what we count as our wedding day. My sister-in-law had known about our wedding since September last year, because she helped me with finding my dream dress and planing so they could come with us to England.

We had our real wedding 13 days later, the date that we have in our rings, in Wales in Great Britain. My brother and sister-in-law were our witnesses this time too. It was just us four. And my brother was taking the photos. We had our private ceremony in a grove. It was perfect and everything I wanted it to be. My husbands vow where amazing and I cried. I will remember this day forever.

It was all just what I wanted it to be. And I am really pleased with how we were true to ourselves and did it our way. Our parents got a text in the evening on our wedding day, with a picture and we wrote like: so this happened on our vacation.

We have gotten mixed responses on our wedding, but for the most part, it has been positive.

We had a wedding party to celebrate with our family and friends last Friday. I will write more about it later. And I know I will write more about our wedding later too. It’s one of the best days of my life..

Have an amazing day!

Love, Nea

 

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