Tag: University

Life happens

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Heriot-Watt University, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Study Abroad, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

In the middle of January I started my fifth year at University. Saying it out loud seems crazy, for two reasons. First, because a lot of people did not think I would even make it through one term at University because of my mental health problems. If you were one of them, well than I just want to say: “Fuck you!” I am stronger than you thought.

Secondly, because I was only planing on studying at University for 3 years to take my Bachelors Degree, which I have taken, but life happens. Or more exactly I had one exam hanging over me when I finished the thesis in the begining of January last year, so I had to retake it in March. Which meant that I studied one more term to have something to do while I waited to retake that exam. Than Covid happend and a lot of places would not hire people right out of University, so I countinued to study. And now I am here working on my Masters Thesis and If I take one more term after the summer I will have my Masters. And that sounds even more crazy.

I have showed so many people who doubted me that I am stronger than they think and that I will not be defined or limited by my mental health. It has not always been easy doing this, but with the support of my husband and my family and friends I have done this. I also managed to study one term abroad in Edinburgh, an experience I will always value.

I have lost a couple friends over the time, but that is mostly people who can’t handle my success or that have not been able to handle that I still have mental health problems. But I am better without these people. The friends I have gotten over the time I have studied that have stayed with me are true friends. The kind you can call whenever just to talk.

If I can do this then I know that you can go after what you want as well! Go after your dreams.

Love, Nea

Advertisement

150 %

On By NeaIn About me, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

Yesterday was Monday and I did not post a Motivational Monday post. And the reason why was that I yesterday started studying 150 % and had three lectures back to back with only one hours lunch. I did not have time to write a post in the morning, since I needed to wake up, take care of the dogs and get ready for my day. My lunch hour was spent trying to calm down and get through the rest of the day. I though about posting a motivational post today, but so far I have studied, watched a recorded lecture and planed a bit of my studying for the next couple of days.

Some of you might wonder why I did not just write my Motivational Monday post this weekend and then schedule it. The truth is I did not think about it. I spent this weekend kind of stressed over my next 10 weeks with all the study load I have and how I will make it work with my dogs, having time for my husband and family as well as having time for housework and me time.

I am going to try and get a Motivational Monday Post out next week, but we will see. I have my first assignment due on Monday.

I wish you all a fantastic week and keep on fighting. I know I will.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ 5 October

On By NeaIn About me, Life, Motivation, Motivational Monday, UniversityLeave a comment

It is October and now I can really say that fall is here. The air is crisp, leaves are falling and outside my window I can see the rain falling. I am sitting in the sofa in the living room with a dog on each side. They are tired and just wants to be close.

I am trying to get some things with uni figured out and planing this week. Last week I was sick and I am still not okay. It is just a regular cold that I gotten from my parents. They did a COVID test and it was negative, so I know that I do not have COVID.

With the weather turning grey and it’s getting colder outside I think most of us could use some motivation. I don’t know if you all will thing this is motivating, but it is for me. I found this online last year and I do not know who has said it, but I love it.

This is one important thing. Let things go. Don’t let it pester in your mind. Don’t let it take over your life. Try and look forward instead of backwards. I know this is not always possible, but some things we can let go of. We can let go of so much that we usually don’t do. But let go of old fights, let go of “I wish I would have said this instead”. Or like in my case today, I almost started a fight with a professor over something that was not his fault. He had not gotten the information I thought he had gotten, but now he is trying to fix it. So I am letting go of my angry and trying to take it as it comes. I think the last couple of weeks unsureness made me go into a fight mood directly. So I am letting it all go and relaxing. Now I will take it one day at a time.

I hope you have an fantastic week. And If you can go out and look at the leaves turning. Breath in the crisp air and be thankfull for each day.

Love, Nea

Fall

On By NeaIn About me, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

Yesterday was the first official day of fall, but let’s be honest. It’s felt like fall a couple of weeks not with the crisp air, the leaves turning yellow, orange and red. We have started lightning fires in the fireplace and having more candles burning in the evenings. The other day I literally stumbled over some chanterelles in the woods when we where out walking. I picked them up so my husband how loves them could eat them with his dinner.

I have a fall cleaning in mind for the whole house, but I still have a lot of things I had planed on doing this summer left to do, like paint the hallway uppstairs. I hope I have the time to do that, with uni and everything else.

I also have a full shopping list of things for the house, like more blankets and candles. You can never have enough candles living in the woods when the electricity can go out at any second. Our supply is currently a bit low, but I will fix that soon.

I have a lot of work for Uni this week and in the end of next week I have a big exam. I am kind of nervous about this term paper I am working on and the exam, but I will do my best and try and keep my anxiety in check.

I wish you all an fantastic Wednesday and I hope I can post more updates and other things soon.

Love, Nea

Long time, no write

On By NeaIn About me, Anxiety, Depression, Love, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

I been away from this blog for a couple of weeks now, and the reason is that I have not had the time or energy to write anything. I been studying for at least 50 hours a week. It has drained my energy and I still have all the other “normal” things to do. Like housework and try and spend time with my husband and dogs. I am stressed almost every hour and sleep where badly. This affects my anxiety, so I am really not feeling myself.

I am fighting to keep my mood up and keep on going. I know that it is going to be a couple of more hard weeks and then I hope it is going to be better. If not, well then I just need to keep going anyway. I am a fighter and I am so close to getting my degree. I am not going to fall down on the finish line.

But good news, the renovation on the new house is going forward and we hope to be able to move in this year. I am hoping on November, but I been an optimist before.

Now I really need to go back to studying. I just wanted to let you all know I am alive. I wish you all an amazing week.

Love, Nea

Grumpy dog and bloody floor

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Family, Mental Health, Oracle, Studying, ZeldaLeave a comment

Yesterday did not go as planed at all. My parents where suppose to have the dogs until tonight, but my mum was not feeling well. So we had the dogs home over the evening and the night. Today my parents have the dogs over the day and then after Uni today I am getting them back. My parents are helping us with the dogs a lot and I am so grateful for it. But my mind was so set on a evening alone, without no dogs and no husband. Now I got a evening with the dogs. And a very grumpy Oracle. She was so mad at me yesterday.

It all began when my mum was cutting Oracles claws and she accidentally cut too much, so there was a lot of blood. Blood on the floor, on the dog and well it felt like everywhere. I know I am exaggerating, but I have a problem with blood, I get lightheaded and I have passed out. This might sound strange, but if it is a stranger that’s bleeding I can handle it, but if it is someone I care about, I can’t. At least not if I am not alone with the one that bleeds. I know this is so weird, but it’s just how it is. I think it might have something to do with my anxiety. Like it triggers something in me. Maybe some kind of fears to lose someone I care about.

Any how, after that the bleeding would not stop, not for long at least because Oracle wanted to lick her paws clean. So it started bleeding again. So we had to put a bandage on Oracles paw and then a kind of protective sock. She hates this. It makes her grumpy and she was showing me her feelings about it the whole evening. It is hard to tell a dog that it is for her best, even though I feel like she understands most things that I tell her, I know we have different opinions about this. I hope she will be less grumpy this evening. I just want to cuddle down under a blanket on the sofa and maybe get some writing done. And I hope that the dogs want to cuddle down with me. But we will just have to see.

Today my friends and I are hoping to get our project finished so we can have a day at home on Monday to study for our exam. So please keep your fingers crossed for us. Now I really need to get to it. I will try and take time to write here soon again.

I wish you all a fantastic Friday!

Love, Nea

Busy, busy and autumn

On By NeaIn About me, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

I have a very stressful couple of weeks behind me and infront of me. It feels like all my time is spent on campus working on a project or driving to campus. I put in around 9 hours a day studying and about 2-3 hours driving to and from campus. I miss spending time with my dogs and my family. And I really miss spending time with my husband. Some days it seems like we don’t see each other at all. He has his plate full with work and renovating the new house. We hope we can move in before winter, but it is a slow process and he is also pulling long hours at work. So we will just have to see how it goes. I know that I will at least have a full scheduled with Uni the coming weeks.

I haven’t posted here very little and I hope that I can change that. Maybe I need to spend some time this weekend and write a couple of post and schedule them. I hate to see my blog so empty of new updates. I have so many things I want to share with you. Like my shopping on EMP-Shop and what is happening in my life.

Right now I am sitting on campus waiting for my friends to start our project that is due on Tuesday. They should be here any minute so I really need to end this post now.. But I am so happy that autumn is finally here. With the beautiful leaves and the crisp are. All I want to do is drink hot Coco and read a good book. Maybe I will get a bit of time for that this weekend.

I wish you all an wonderful day!

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ September 23rd.

On By NeaIn Motivation, Motivational Monday, picture, quotes, UniversityLeave a comment

Happy Monday everybody! I am at Uni writing this on my phone, because I need the time on my computer battery for todays class. I forgot my charger at home, but I wanted to post something today.. so I hope this works okay.

This weekend was basicly me laying on the sofa with a cold.. so no fun. And I am still not okay, but I am here at uni because I really need to bee here for every lecture and every class. So I am trying to motivate myself and not think about my sore throath or my fever.

I really did not prepare a motivational quote for today.. so I though I woould just reuse an old one. Hope that’s fine by you.

I Love this quote because it is so true. So stop yourself from limiting yourself and go after your dreams. Deep down you know you can do it!

I wish you all an amazing week!

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday – September 16

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Motivation, Motivational Monday, Panic attacks, quotes, UniversityLeave a comment

Good morning! Today I have one of those days where it feels like I have a million things to do and so little time. This week at Uni will be packed and I have a lot of other things to do as well.

Today’s motivational quotes is from one of my favorite actors and role-models. He is an inspiration and I try to live by this quote even though my anxiety makes that hard, most days.

Some days are harder then others not to worry. And I know it can be a struggle living with mental health problems. I am not saying that this is easy for me. I want to be as open as I can here, but sometimes I feel like I need to think more about the positive sides of my life and not just focus on my mental health problems. I fight my anxiety and panic attacks almost daily. And my depression always comes along on the most difficult days. Some days I feel like I am Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh. The daily struggle is increased when I have stress in my life, and right now I got a lot of stress in my life. But I try to deal with it the best I can. It is a work in progress, but I know that if I can do this, so can you!

So now I am going to take a deep breath and try my hardest not to worry. Then I am going to get all the things I need today ready. Pack it and the dogs in the car. Drive to my parents and drop the dogs of there. Then its of to Uni for the day.

I wish you all an amazing week and try not to worry. I know its hard, but I belive in you!

Love, Nea

September 2 ~ Motivational Monday

On By NeaIn Motivation, Motivational Monday, quotes, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

It’s Monday again and this week I really need to get motivated. My term at Uni starts tomorrow. My last term before I get my Bachelors exam. It is kind of scary and I feel a lot of pressure (from myself) to do good this term. I mean, I want to get my Bachelor and find a job.

So this weeks quote is to motivate me, because I am not going to give up.

I hope this motivates you, because it motivates me. I am not somebody who gives up. And I am not going to do so now.

So today I am going to try and energize myself for this weeks lectures and classes, because I know it is going to be a though and full-booked week. Tomorrow I have two lectures both 2 hours long. On Wednesday I am also having two lectures that are 2 hours long. On Thursday I am having one lecture that is 3 hours long. And on Friday I am having a group introduction thing for a big group project, and this one is 2 hours long.

I am so glad that we bought a car last week, so I won’t have to borrow a car from my family or go in with my husband early in the morning and spend my day all day at campus. Now I can just go in to my lectures and things and then go home. This means I won’t have to spend an extra of 5 hours a day at campus.

I have already eaten breakfast, been out with the dogs on a morning walk and taken some photos on them and written a grocery store list, but now I need to do some studying and fix a lot of things for tomorrow.

I wish you all an amazing week and just remember; you are not a quitter and you are strong!

Love, Nea