Tag: Panic attacks

World Mental Health Day

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Panic attacks1 Comment

I totally missed that October 10th was World Mental Health Day 2018. Don’t really know how? But I am doing a post on it now instead.

What I really want to share with all of you about Mental Health is that is no shame in having problems with your mental health. More people than you know have problems with their mental health and I wish more people talked about it.

I remember when I started going to a psychologist when I was about 14 years old and so many people had a problem with me talking about it. I should stay quiet and not talk about it. So I that’s what I did. I felt ashamed over how I was feeling and that affected me for a really long time.

Then when I started getting my panic attacks, big ones, when I was 17 I didn’t want to talk to anybody about it. I was ashamed over it. But I got help and started understanding that it wasn’t anything to be ashamed over. Both through my family and celebrities that have been very open about their mental health problems.

I started telling people that I had been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and panic disorder. I was told by a teacher when I finally came back to High School after being home sick for about a year, that I should be locked up in an insane asylum. That I was a danger to everyone around me. That only made me angrier and more determined to share with everyone.

My husband has always been by my side in all of this and when I told him that I wanted to start a blog to share my life with people he helped me get it started. He knows all about my fears and he still loves me. And I am worth that love.

I now that there are a lot of people out there that doesn’t have the support that I have had. But just remember that you are loved and it will get better with time. Just keep fighting! And you are not alone.

And to you who have a person with mental health problems in your life. Don’t try to fix it all. Just listen to them. Love them and be there for them.

Love, Nea

 

 

Throwback Thursday

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Oracle, Panic attacks, picture, Thankful TuesdayLeave a comment

For this week’s Throwback Thursday I want to share this picture with you:

Oralce and Aylenblogg

This is my dog Oracle when she was 8 weeks old and her mother. This was the day we brought her home with us. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I finally had my own dog after wanting one for so many years.

This was taken in March 2013 and I can’t believe that Oracle is going to be 6 years in January next year. She is one of the best parts of my life and I owe so much to her.

I don’t actually remember if I have written anything about this before, but I have trained Oracle to be my therapy dog. And she has been there for me whenever I need her and I love her so much.  She doesn’t have to work as much now as she did a couple of years ago but she still helps me when I need her to.

I am definitely going to write more about my dogs because they are a big part of my life.

 

Early morning on Campus

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

This morning I woke up at 4 am. And 15 minutes later my alarm went off. It was just to go up and eat breakfast. The reason that I got up so early is that my husband and I drove in together this morning. He starts his job at 7 am in the morning, but it takes an hour to get to campus and we had to drop the dogs at doggie daycare before 7 am.

Now I am sitting at campus listening to a music and trying to motivate myself to study. And wishing that I drank coffee so that I could wake up. But I don’t drink anything with caffeine.

I have been thinking these last days about that I feel like this world is getting more and more hard. We are harder against each other. There is more bullying around us. In school and online. And people are less understanding with other people and their feelings. People are more selfish. I wish that we could spread love and not hate.

I have been told by many people over the last couple of years that my “sickness” is something that makes me the wrong human being to study. That I should stay home. These are things I have never taken to heart.

I know that every one that is fighting against their mental health can overcome it. I have found that taking action is the only thing that helps me with my panic attacks. With this I mean. Do things that you know can and will sett you of. But do it small steps at a time. If you get panic attacks when you shop for groceries. Then go early in the morning or later in the evening, when there are much fewer people in the store. And have as a goal to maybe just by one or two products. And you can, of course, have someone with you as support.

And do this until you are ready to increase the number of products you by. And someday you can shop for an entire week at once.

That is my best advice. Take it slow. But do something to get yourself better. I am not saying that I don´t get panic attacks in the store. Because I do. All the time. But I can handle them better now. And I know that if I am having a rough week then I don’t shop when the stores are the busiest. You have to pick your battles. And right now I am concentrating on finishing my education. And almost all my energy is going to go to all my classes even if I am having a hard day.

This became a longer post than planned. Sorry for the rant.

Have an inspiring day!

Love, Nea

Campus this morning

October is officially here

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

October. The Month when it really feels like autumn is here. And all I want to do is sit on the couch with a blanket, a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. And some candles burning on the coffee table.

But what I need to do is: Study for my exam that is on the 29 of October. And I also need to do laundry, especially wash my mittens and scarfs. And many more things need to be done. It feels like there are more things than time. I am going through a rough patch right now, as some of you may have understood from my previous posts. And I am stressing out about all the things around me.

Yesterday I had a “normal” day at campus, but when I got home I was exhausted. I slept for about an hour on the sofa with the dogs before I had any energy to get something done.

Today I had an earlier day on campus and after that, I went to a shopping mall and got a christening present for my niece (my husband’s older brothers daughter) that is getting christen on Saturday. Something that had totally fallen out of my mind. And I realised this weekend that we had not gotten her a gift yet.

But on the plus side when I started looking for something to by for her I found the perfect Christmas gift for my nephew (my brother’s son) and also a birthday present for him. His birthday is in February.

Then it hit me. It’s just a couple of months to Christmas. I don’t know where the time has gone. It feels like September just went by without me noticing. Is it me or does time go faster when you get older than it did when you were a child?

Now I am going to study. And then it’s out in the pouring rain to walk the dogs.

Have a lovely evening!

Love, Nea

This mornings walk with the dogs! 😍

I did it!

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Motivation, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

Today I went to campus and stayed for my entire lecture. Even if it was hard this morning. And right now I am tired but very proud of myself.

My father was with me to campus and then we had lunch together and just talked. It was like an extra “lifeline” in case I got a panic attack. And it felt safe.

All I can say is don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. We all need someone to lean on sometimes.

Now I am going to take the dogs for a quick walk then get into bed. I am really sleepy.

Good night!

Love, Nea

Campus this morning

Home today too

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Panic attacks, StudyingLeave a comment

So I didn’t go to campus today either. Haven’t been sleeping and I know that I can’t fight off my panic attacks with no sleep. And that I really should not drive on two nights of no sleep. I don’t want to get a big panic attack that I can’t fight.

But tomorrow will be different. I am going to campus. Whatever it takes.

Now I am going to study so I don’t fall even more behind.

Love, Nea

Mad Wednesday

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Life, Love, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

Today I am mad. But at myself. I have been having a couple of really bad days with my anxiety and my depression. I feel like a am on the brink of falling down a high cliff. And I am doing everything in my power to stop it from happening. Like I wrote in an earlier post I had a really hard Monday. I tried everything to turn it around and I actually turned it around in the evening just spending time with my wonderful dogs and my husband.

Then yesterday I dropped off the dogs with my father, I borrowed my parent’s car again and drove to campus. And when I came to campus I just couldn’t leave the car. I just froze. So I ate my lunch in the car and about 20 minutes before my class started I gathered all my energy and went to the classroom I was going to be in. It was a 2-hour class, but when it was about 10 minutes left I started to panic. it felt like the walls were closing in on me and I had no energy to fight it, so I left the class. I then had an hour to drive home, and I didn’t know if I was going to make it home. But staying at the campus was no option. So I called my husband and he talked a bit with me and really helpt med focus and feel a little better. Then when my husband really couldn’t talk more, because of his job I called my father and we talked. My parent’s car has a Bluetooth that I had my phone connected to so I can drive and talk. My husband also has one in his car and when I don’t feel my best its really good to have someone to talk to.

My father and I talked for about 45 minutes and we ended the talk when I was almost home.  It helped me with driving home and I am forever grateful that I have my awesome father that always are there to help me.

Then when I parked at home and got all my things in the house I went directly to my stash of chocolate and at a couple of pieces. After about 10 minutes at home I felt a lot better and about that time my parents came home with my dogs. So my mother and I took a walk with the dogs and just talked about who I was feeling and then about other things so I could relax. When we came back from our walk, my husband had come home. And just like that I was relaxed. I have always felt safe with my husband. He is one of the only people that I know will always be there for me and always have my back. But he also pushes me to keep fighting my demons. And I can honestly say I don’t understand how I got so lucky to spend my life with him.

We spent the evening together and just took it easy. But just like I expected my stomach started giving me trouble. I have gastric catarrh and my panic can stress my stomach and make me really sick. Long story short… I have spent the night awake with a stomach ache. So this morning I didn’t go to campus. Which means I missed a lecture and a class with calculation exercises in statistics.

Wow, I wrote longer then I thought about why I am mad at myself. I just hate when I have bad days. But like my husband usually reminds me I have come a long way these past years. I never thought that I would be able to say that I am a university student. Or that I have a drivers license. Or that I can go to the store by my self and shop.

But just so you all know I am not giving up. I plan on going to my class tomorrow and Friday’s lecture. I am going to get my bachelors degree and every obstacle in my way and every hard day is just going to make me stronger.

Sorry for the rant.

Love, Nea

 

I survived hump day

On By NeaIn About me, Mental Health, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

And I am really proud of myself. It was a long day yesterday. But I did it.

Today has been a much better day. I was home alone for a few hours when my husband went to work this morning and on the way dropped of the dogs at daycare.

After lunch I drove to campus and had a really good meting with my student consuler. We talked about the next couple of years and my options. And I am really happy about what was said. I will share more with you in an later post.

After that I had some time to befor my computerlabiration started and while I was waiting a friend of my found me and we got a chance to catch up.

Now I am at home and all I want to do is eat and relax. So thats what I am going to do.

Good nigth, Nea

Surviving hump day

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

Today I am having a hard day. It took every trick I got to get me to campus. I have a full day ahead of me and only one goal. Survive the day.

I have dropped of the dogs at doggie daycare and right now I am sitting outside my lecturehall waiting for the first lecture if the day to start. I am feeling down and trying my best to turn this feeling around.

In the car I was listining to uplifting music. And now I am trying to think of good things that are happening in the next couple of days. I am feeling better then I did this morning. And that is progress.

Wish me luck and I hope you all have an fantastic day.

Love Nea

Campus

Moody monday

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Oracle, Panic attacks, Studying, University, ZeldaLeave a comment

Today is a hard day for me. The thoughts in my head are spinning around and I don’t feel like I can get a grip on them. I have tried to do something all day. But I feel like a balloon that the air has left.

I want to crawl back in bed and read a good book or just sleep. And the dogs went back to doggie-daycare this morning. So I have been home alone until I went to campus now in the afternoon. I had a late lecture. And I had to fight with my mind to get there. But I did it. I didn’t give up. And I could stay the whole lecture.

After the lecture, I went to pick up the dogs at daycare. My husband dropped them off this morning. Oracle and Zelda were really happy to see me.

Now I am just trying to calm down and breath. I have a long day tomorrow too and every other day this week. But I am a fighter.

Have an amazing evening.

Love, Nea