Tag: My life

Wonderful Weekend

On By NeaIn About me, Everyday life, Life, StudyingLeave a comment

This Friday was a busy day. I had an early lecture. Then I drove a friend to the train station. After that, I went to IKEA and bought some things for the bed. Then I went to my parent’s apartment and picked up my father. We went shopping and I drove him home. And all this before noon. Friday was like I said busy because the day wasn’t over there.

On Saturday I woke up early to walk the dogs, eat breakfast and then study before my niece christening. It was a beautiful day and I had a really nice time meeting everyone and taking many pictures. I love photographing and I am looking forward to getting some of the pictures in print. I think a few will make excellent Christmas presents.

Today I slept for a long time and woke up feeling relaxed and not tired. I love the mornings when I don’t need to set an alarm. It’s not often I can do this so I really enjoy the days that are like this.

Today I have been reading a few chapters in my course literature so I am up to speed on the coming lectures. I have also been doing some planning for the following days so I know what I need to do and when. I like having a plan for what’s to come. Even if it doesn’t go exactly as planned. If you are wondering what I am planning: What we are going to eat, How much I need to study this week and when, when the dogs are going to be at doggie daycare and what I want to write about in my posts.

Now I am going to relax with the dogs for a while and read a book. Then I just might study some more.

Have a fantastic evening!

Love, Nea

Early morning on Campus

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

This morning I woke up at 4 am. And 15 minutes later my alarm went off. It was just to go up and eat breakfast. The reason that I got up so early is that my husband and I drove in together this morning. He starts his job at 7 am in the morning, but it takes an hour to get to campus and we had to drop the dogs at doggie daycare before 7 am.

Now I am sitting at campus listening to a music and trying to motivate myself to study. And wishing that I drank coffee so that I could wake up. But I don’t drink anything with caffeine.

I have been thinking these last days about that I feel like this world is getting more and more hard. We are harder against each other. There is more bullying around us. In school and online. And people are less understanding with other people and their feelings. People are more selfish. I wish that we could spread love and not hate.

I have been told by many people over the last couple of years that my “sickness” is something that makes me the wrong human being to study. That I should stay home. These are things I have never taken to heart.

I know that every one that is fighting against their mental health can overcome it. I have found that taking action is the only thing that helps me with my panic attacks. With this I mean. Do things that you know can and will sett you of. But do it small steps at a time. If you get panic attacks when you shop for groceries. Then go early in the morning or later in the evening, when there are much fewer people in the store. And have as a goal to maybe just by one or two products. And you can, of course, have someone with you as support.

And do this until you are ready to increase the number of products you by. And someday you can shop for an entire week at once.

That is my best advice. Take it slow. But do something to get yourself better. I am not saying that I don´t get panic attacks in the store. Because I do. All the time. But I can handle them better now. And I know that if I am having a rough week then I don’t shop when the stores are the busiest. You have to pick your battles. And right now I am concentrating on finishing my education. And almost all my energy is going to go to all my classes even if I am having a hard day.

This became a longer post than planned. Sorry for the rant.

Have an inspiring day!

Love, Nea

Campus this morning

October is officially here

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

October. The Month when it really feels like autumn is here. And all I want to do is sit on the couch with a blanket, a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. And some candles burning on the coffee table.

But what I need to do is: Study for my exam that is on the 29 of October. And I also need to do laundry, especially wash my mittens and scarfs. And many more things need to be done. It feels like there are more things than time. I am going through a rough patch right now, as some of you may have understood from my previous posts. And I am stressing out about all the things around me.

Yesterday I had a “normal” day at campus, but when I got home I was exhausted. I slept for about an hour on the sofa with the dogs before I had any energy to get something done.

Today I had an earlier day on campus and after that, I went to a shopping mall and got a christening present for my niece (my husband’s older brothers daughter) that is getting christen on Saturday. Something that had totally fallen out of my mind. And I realised this weekend that we had not gotten her a gift yet.

But on the plus side when I started looking for something to by for her I found the perfect Christmas gift for my nephew (my brother’s son) and also a birthday present for him. His birthday is in February.

Then it hit me. It’s just a couple of months to Christmas. I don’t know where the time has gone. It feels like September just went by without me noticing. Is it me or does time go faster when you get older than it did when you were a child?

Now I am going to study. And then it’s out in the pouring rain to walk the dogs.

Have a lovely evening!

Love, Nea

This mornings walk with the dogs! 😍

I did it!

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Motivation, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

Today I went to campus and stayed for my entire lecture. Even if it was hard this morning. And right now I am tired but very proud of myself.

My father was with me to campus and then we had lunch together and just talked. It was like an extra “lifeline” in case I got a panic attack. And it felt safe.

All I can say is don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. We all need someone to lean on sometimes.

Now I am going to take the dogs for a quick walk then get into bed. I am really sleepy.

Good night!

Love, Nea

Campus this morning

A new week means new goals

On By NeaIn Everyday life, Life, Love, Mental Health, Oracle, Panic attacks, Studying, University, ZeldaLeave a comment

Today its Monday and so far it hasn’t been a really good day. It feels like all the things that can go wrong has gone wrong, which really isn’t true. Far from it actually. But I have to admit. I almost just gave up and crawled down in my big, cosy warm bed.

It all started this morning when I woke up. I didn’t feel good. I felt nausea and didn’t have an appetite. But this isn’t new. Its been like this for about a week. The Zelda stole and chewed on a butter knife that was in plastic so it broke. And I had to give her asparagus in case she ate some parts of the butter knife.

Then when I was driving to doggie daycare the care was making some strange noise that worries me so I drove to my brother and he calmed me down. It was nothing serious. I am borrowing my parent’s car at the moment. And the thought of it breaking and possible beeing my falt was just too much.

Now I am sitting on campus and trying to relax before I eat my lunch. And then I have a lecture. I am trying to come up with some waý to make this day better. My goal for today is to turn this day around. Something I know I can do.

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Love, Nea

Surviving hump day

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

Today I am having a hard day. It took every trick I got to get me to campus. I have a full day ahead of me and only one goal. Survive the day.

I have dropped of the dogs at doggie daycare and right now I am sitting outside my lecturehall waiting for the first lecture if the day to start. I am feeling down and trying my best to turn this feeling around.

In the car I was listining to uplifting music. And now I am trying to think of good things that are happening in the next couple of days. I am feeling better then I did this morning. And that is progress.

Wish me luck and I hope you all have an fantastic day.

Love Nea

Campus

Moody monday

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Oracle, Panic attacks, Studying, University, ZeldaLeave a comment

Today is a hard day for me. The thoughts in my head are spinning around and I don’t feel like I can get a grip on them. I have tried to do something all day. But I feel like a balloon that the air has left.

I want to crawl back in bed and read a good book or just sleep. And the dogs went back to doggie-daycare this morning. So I have been home alone until I went to campus now in the afternoon. I had a late lecture. And I had to fight with my mind to get there. But I did it. I didn’t give up. And I could stay the whole lecture.

After the lecture, I went to pick up the dogs at daycare. My husband dropped them off this morning. Oracle and Zelda were really happy to see me.

Now I am just trying to calm down and breath. I have a long day tomorrow too and every other day this week. But I am a fighter.

Have an amazing evening.

Love, Nea

Saturdays is a study day

On By NeaIn Life, StudyingLeave a comment

Sitting at home feeling a bit sorry for myself. I am still feeling my cold and I had plans with my husband to go to an important and motivation work event a couple of hours away from here. I opted to stay at home and that’s why I am feeling sorry for myself. But I need to focus on my health.

I have been studying and resting. My husband went with without me and I am glad that he got to meet all the amazing people that would attend this event. And right now I am waiting for him to get home and tell me everything about the event.

I have found a new series on Netflix, or at least new for me. It’s called When Calls the Heart. I am going to watch an episode now.

Have an amazing evening.

Love, Nea

Evening walk!

Clumsy Friday

On By NeaIn About me, Life, University2 Comments

Everybody who knows me knows that I am extremely clumsy. Like walk-into-the-table- or fall-over-your-own-feet-clumsy. I have over my life done many clumsy things and today is no different.

Today I have walked into the kitchen table, stumped my toes in one of the kitchen chairs and slipped in the woods when I was walking with the dogs. And I almost fell down some steps in the auditorium I had a lecture in today. The almost is important.

My husband knows that I usually have bruises because I walk into things. And we have a pair of crutches at home at all times because I need them a couple of times every year.

This summer I doped my phone into the dog’s water bowl. It worked for an hour, but then it started sending strange messengers. My father got a couple and was scared I had gotten a stroke. So the phone was put in rice, but it is still wasn’t working okay. So I bought one of my brother’s phones. And my husband wasn’t even surprised over my phone little bath. He was amazed that I hadn’t dropped it in water before.

I have so many stories where I have done something clumsy that I could fill a book.. And I am not even 30 years old.

Are you clumsy? Or am I the only one?

Now I am going to try to get some studying done before my husband gets home.

Love, Nea

 

 

Finally Thursday

On By NeaIn About me, Anxiety, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, UniversityLeave a comment

I finally went to campus today. It was nice to go back, even if I could have stayed home in bed a couple of days more. But I only had a 2 hours lecture where we went through old exam questions. I had some minor panic feelings in the car on my way to campus, but I could handle them. One reason for my feelings was that my sunglasses broke and I really needed them. But I just turned around and get myself a cap instead so I could drive to campus. I hadn’t gotten very far from home when I turned around.

I have stressed over how behind a must be after being sick and at home the last three days, but when I came to campus today and talked with some of my classmates, I don’t feel as stressed anymore. I will have to study this weekend, but then I will be in sync with the rest of the class. And that feels really good.

Now I am trying to come up with what we are going to eat for the rest of the week. I am going grocery shopping, and that is something I hate doing, because if it is crowded I know I can get a panic attack. I have to fight with my mind so I can shop because I don’t want to send my husband to the store every time we need something. This is something I really need to work on, and a few years ago I would not have been able to do this, but I have my ways of getting it done.

Hope you are all having a wonderful day!

Love, Nea

Wonderful autumn! 🍁