Motivational Moday – 6th May

It’s Monday again and I am kind of stressed. Tomorrow I have my two exams. I do not feel prepared even though I have studied as hard as I can. I have cold that just does not want to disappear and it’s starting to make me into me into a bitch. I want to complain about it but then I talked to a friend and she helped me. It sucks being sick, but there are so many people how are dealing with so much more then a cold.

So today I am am focusing on being grateful for my life and how far I have come. And tomorrow I will give it my best on the exams and that just have to be enough. I can’t do much more than that. And at least I have tried. At least I have given it my all.

Days like this I remember this quote:


“I never dreamed about success, I worked for it.”

that Estée Lauder said. I have worked hard to be where I am today. And I have not given up. And I won’t give up.

So if you are having a rough day or just needs some motivation anyway keep fighting. Work hard for what you want. You can get it. I mean, look at me… I am living my dream. Studying abroad even though I live with panic attacks, anxiety and depression. If I can do this, you can do whatever you want. We are all so much stronger than we think.

Now I am going to get some more studying done! Have an fantastic Monday!

Love, Nea

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Confusing emotions

I don’t really know where to start writing today. Last week was a amazing. My mother, brother, sister-in-law and nephew came to Edinburgh for a visit. They arrived on Wednesday and left on Saturday. I got to show them my university and where we live. We also took them for a visit to Edinburgh zoo.. And spent a day walking around in Edinburgh. I was so happy to have them here and I was so grateful that they took the time to come and visit us. I have missed them like crazy. And even though I was sad that my father and dogs where not here I was very happy.

On Saturday when we said goodbye on the airport I thought I was going to break down completely, but my husband helped me through it. He reminded me that we are going to be back in Sweden in two months time and that I now need to concentrate on the last parts of my studying here. I have two exams and an essay left to write. He helped cheer me up and we took a day just spending time together watching on things on Netflix and cuddling in the couch. Just what I needed.

Then on Sunday it was my birthday. We took a couple of walks and spend time together. I was feeling sick, so we took it quiet easy. I love my husband so much. One of the reasons is because he always makes me feel better and knows how to make the best of every day. He knows I been going through a couple of hard weeks with my mental health and he helps me through it.

Yesterday was a really bad day. I was sick with fever and headache, spending the whole day in bed, trying to get better. Then in the afternoon we found out that a family friend had passed away. It has really shaken me up. And I know he has been sick for sometime, but I just can’t get my head around it. It also feels wrong that I probably won’t be able to attend his funeral.

This last week has me feeling some confusing emotions and I don’t really know what to do about it. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy for the visit, happy about my birthday with my husband and sad about my friend. And I am still sick… I am sorry if this post is strange and not something you want to read. I just needed to write it to work through it.

I hope you have an fantastic Wednesday and please take care of one an other. Be nice and appreciate the people in your life.

Love, Nea

8th of April – Motivational Monday

It’s Monday again and I have Spring Break. This week my mother, nephew, brother and sister-in-law is coming for a visit and I am looking forward to it. There are so much I want to show them here in Edinburgh. And I have missed them very much.

This weeks Monday motivational quote is:

I feel that this is an important thing to think about. You can do what ever you set your mind to. Because you are the only limit in your life. So please don’t limit yourself. Look at me. I am living with anxiety, panic attacks and depression, but I won’t let that limit my life. My dream has been for many years to study abroad and now I am doing it. Granted that it’s later in life than I had planed on. But I am doing it. And If I can go after my dreams, then I know that you can to.

So have an amazing Monday and a magical week.

Love, Nea

Spring Break

As of this Monday, I have Spring Break. Monday was a really good day. I handed in an essay and got the grad for two other essays I have done. I got an A on both of them.

But right now I am going trough a rough patch. I should be out exploring the city with my husband. Instead I am sitting in the couch writing. Because it helps me with all the feelings that I have right now. My husband is amazing and supportive, but I know it’s hard for him seeing me like this. He is doing his best to get me out of my funk. But I feel so tired. All I want to do is sleep, but when I sleep I sleep bad. I am anxious and I don’t know how to explain it.

I am working on getting better. But the stress from the last week of school is getting to me. I hope that I will feel better soon, I want to see more of what Edinburgh has to offer. And next week we will get a visit from my mother, brother, nephew and sister-in-law. I am looking forward to it. I haven’t seen them since the beginning of January.. More then 3 months.

One of the reasons why I haven’t been active here in a while is school work and that I have been feeling drained. I hope you understand that. I want to write more. I want to share more of my feelings and what is happening in my life. And I hope I can do that.

Now I am going to go back to writing and listening to music. My husband is working so I don’t want to get in his way.

I hope you all have an amazing week and if you are going through a rough patch: Please Keep Fighting. Never Give Up!!

18th March – Motivation Monday

It’s Monday and here in Edinburgh the birds are singing outside the window. Its kind of cloudy, but that’s okay. At least its not snowing or raining like it did this Saturday. It feels like spring is here to stay and that is one thing that motivates me.

Today I only have one lecture. And I need motivation to go to it. I am still tired from the hectic week I had when I finished to essays in the course of a week. I think I kind of drained myself. But this week I am going to really start on the next essay. And the theme of the essay is something that I find really interesting so I hope it will be more fun and relaxing to write.

Today’s motivational quote is not really a quote. It’s more of a mantra that I found on Pinterest a while back.

I am grounded.
I am loved.
I am enough.

I don’t know where it comes from and or anything, but it helps me in my darkest days. And I wanted to share it with you. I say this over and over in my head some days and it gives me the motivation to keep going. Keep fighting. Because I know that I can do it and that I am so much stronger then I think.

I hope you have a wonderful Monday and a fantastic week!

Motivation needed…

So I have been MIA for a while now. I have been stressing over my first assignment that I turned in last week. Then I have taken a much-needed break, from all.

On Friday my husband and I had a date night. We didn’t do anything special on Valentines Day, because I had a late class and I was so tired when I got home. So we made up for that on Friday instead. We went to Giant Lanterns of China on Edinburgh Zoo. It was amazing and breathtaking. I took so many pictures with my camera and we had a really nice time. It was so worth how tired I was when we got back to the apartment. And I would definitely go to that again if I ever got the chance. We already started talking about going back to the Zoo this spring to see the animals. I have heard nothing but good things about Edinburgh Zoo and I hope that all I heard is true. I am not really a fan of keeping animals in cages. There are like two Zoos in Sweden that I actually like, but that’s just because I know how well treated the animals are and I know that animals are not being treated like housepets, but kept wild.

On Sunday we took a two hours walk around the outskirts of Edinburgh. We got pretty high up and had an amazing view of Edinburgh. It was an amazing day to just relax and be in nature.

Today I have no lectures so it will be a study day. I have 4 essays left to write before spring break and a lot of reading. I have been awake now for over an hour, but I am letting my husband sleep in. He could really need it. I have been sleeping bad and having anxiety, and I know that he sleeps badly when I feel like this.

Now I am going to try and get something done and not just sit here on the couch. Have an amazing Hump Day! I will try and get better on updating the blog.

Love, Nea

Amazing start to the week

Today is a really good day. I had a really good day at campus and I feel so happy about that. I had some minor panic attacks and anxiety, but nothing that affected me in any major way. I just worked through it.

When I woke up this morning I was exhausted, after a night of very little sleep, and this because when I had gotten to sleep last night I woke up because there was a really high crashing sound. Both my husband and I investigated but could not find anything in the apartment. And this made me anxious, which is why I slept poorly. This morning we got the answer to what the noise had been. A roofing tile had come loose and crashed down right outside our front door.

Today I had a tutorial this morning, then two hours free and then 2 hours lecture. It was quite an interesting lecture and I think I have learnt something new at least.

Before we got home from campus I had a meetup with my study partner for an assignment and I think we will be able to do a fantastic assignment together.

Now I am going to continue working on my essay that is due in 11 days. I hope you have a magical week.

Love, Nea