Category: Mental Health

Second day at campus

On By NeaIn Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, UniversityLeave a comment

Good afternoon!

Now I had my second day on campus. It went better than yesterday. I meet my wonderful friend Tova and we talked about our classes and she gave me some pointers about the class I am taking right now. She is just wonderful. And always helps me. Also, she always reminds me that I am stronger and smarter then I think.

And then I had a lecture, or not really a lecture. The class of about 100 students are divided into 3 groups and we have time with one of our teaching assistants and we go throw some of the statistics calculations we have in the book or in our booklet. It’s so we learn how to calculate different statistics and their formulas. I am going to have about 2-3 of these a week, for about 8-9 weeks. And I am also going to have 3 lectures a week. And a couple of lab experiments (don’t really know if this is the right word, sorry) in the next 8 weeks.  I am excited and a little scared. Its hard work and I hope this class will be good for me.

Of course, I had some small panic “moments” during the day today, but I don´t let myself get lost in those thoughts or moments. I just keep moving forward. I am trying to always see the bright side of things, and not get caught up in the negative all the time. Its hard sometimes, but you have to try and change your thoughts and not hang out with negative people.

Take care of yourself. And don’t let people pull you down.

Right now I am doing a kind of from home test that I will have the opportunity to do one every week. I have 20 tries per week and the best results are counted together at the end of these 8-9 weeks and I can get points credited for my written exam at the beginning of November.
So the better I am at these test the easier it will be later. But they take time. They call them “Dugga” and I hope you understand what I mean in my explanation. It is not the same questions on every 20 tries. It is different. And I have until tomorrow early morning to finish this one. And I have 10 tries left.

Then on Friday the next Dugga is realised with many more questions and 20 new tries. And I have until Monday morning.

Have a wonderful evening. I need to get back to my Dugga.

Love, Nea

Sunday morning

On By NeaIn About me, Anxiety, Depression, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, UniversityLeave a comment

Hello,

Today is the day before my first class of the term. I feel ready, but I am a bit anxious about starting again. As I have previously told I have a problem with a lot of people and I know that every class starts tomorrow so there will be a lot of people on campus tomorrow.  I am afraid of having a panic attack, even though I know that if I do I will be alright. I have my trick for coping. Trying to think of things that make me happy. Looking at pictures. And if I don’t feel safe where I am, I try to get somewhere I feel safer. And if none of these things helps I usually call someone to talk to a bit. Tell them about my problems and we talk til I feel better. More relaxed.

I don’t take any pills for my mental health. Doctors have said that they can write me prescriptions, but I want to overcome this on my own. I don’t look down on people that take pills, I understand them. I am not saying I am stronger or better. I just say that everyone must do their own choices. And maybe one day I will need to take the pills, but not now.

And I can tell you I am on medication for my asthma and my allergies. Just not anything for my depression, anxiety or panic attacks.

If there is anything you want to know. Please ask.

Love, Nea

20180902_085206
Picture from this mornings walk.

New month, new challenges!

On By NeaIn Life, Love, Mental Health, ZeldaLeave a comment

Hello,

Yesterday was not a good day, but I was determined to make today a good day. This morning my husband and I got up early. He walked Zelda over to my brother’s house because he was going to take care of her.

Then after we ate breakfast we went IKEA in Örebro and got ourselves a new bed. Our old one has been giving ous backpains and we decided that we needed a new bed the other day.

Oracle went on vacation over the weekend with my parents yesterday. So no dog was left alone at home. We were gone for a few hours and came home with an amazing bed. And its bigger than the old one, so now my husband is really happy.

We also bought new pillows for the bed and new linens. So it was a really good day.

But I had some problems in the store. Too many people are one of my triggers for my panic attacks. I had some small ones, but I kept powering through.

Tonight we will be sleeping on the pullout sofa because the bed needs to breathe for at least 12 hours.

I will try to write more about my panic tomorrow. Now I am going to enjoy an evening with my husband.

Love, Nea

20180901_204457.jpg

A picture from our evening walk with Zelda.

One of those days.

On By NeaIn Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Oracle, ZeldaLeave a comment

Good morning,

Today is one of those days when it’s just hard to get up out of bed. But I have made myself a promise. Never give up. Never. So I forced myself out of bed. Got dressed, feed the dogs and went out with the dogs. Ate breakfast. And decided that I should share with you.

If you are having a bad day, just remember is just a bad day. Remember all the good things in your life. I remember my wonderful husband that always are there for me. My two amazing dogs. My supporting family. My outstanding friends.

Because I have my dogs, I need to go out with the dogs. I need to feed them. Because they need me. This is one of the things that make me never give up. Never give in.

I don’t have a bad life, but sometimes I have bad days. Sometimes I have a couple of bad days in a row. But I will never give up. And it is always okay to ask for help.

I hope you all will have an amazing day. And never ever stop fighting.

Love, Nea

20180831_080014

The dogs on this mornings walk.

My first post!

On By NeaIn About me, Life, Mental Health, OracleLeave a comment

This is my first post. I have been thinking about what I wanted to share with you.. I was thinking about just telling you lite about my self and why I want with this blog.

I have started this blog because I want to share my life with you all. It’s going to be kind of a diary, not really that secret. And I will write about all the things I find interesting and things that happen in my life.

My name is Linnéa, but almost everyone calls me Nea. I am 28 years old. I am currently a student at Örebro University. I am also a wife since July 2018 to A. We have been together for almost 12 years. And we live in a small town in the middle of Sweden. The population is a little bit over 7000.

For about 10 years have I been living with panic disorder, anxiety and depression. It was so bad at one point that I couldn’t leave my apartment. But I took control over my life with the help of my amazing husband, family and friends.  We moved to a house and got a dog, Oracle (I will tell you more about her later) and I trained her to be my therapy dog. Without this, I don’t know where I would be right now. I am forever thankful for every amazing person in my life and for my dog, Oracle.

I hope you like my blog. I am really new to this, so please be kind to me.

Love, Nea