Tag: Mental Health

Motivational Monday ~ 12 July

On By NeaIn Motivation, Motivational Monday, quotesLeave a comment

Good morning. It’s another Monday and I feel like this week will be great. I spent my Sunday with my mother-in-law which was amazing. We had not seen each other for about a month and had a lot to talk about. I have my day pretty planed to get a lot of things done.

Last week I had a lot of thoughts of my past as well of bad things that I have experienced. It did not make things better for me to go through those. Instead I am taking this week to focus on the future and today. This is the reason I choose the following quote as this weeks Motivational Quote:

I don’t know if this will help you be focused on the future and I know that sometimes you need to work through the past. I know I need it. But that is something I will do another day. Which might not be the healthiest, but at the moment with all my mental health issues I need this to happen together with a professional that can help me.

I hope you all have an amazing week.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ July 5th

On By NeaIn Mental Health, Motivation, Motivational MondayLeave a comment

It’s Monday again and a whole week since I posted. A lot has happened and I am working on my mental health. I have been in contact with a psychologist and she listened to me and I am going to get help. It feels like a stone has been lifted from my shoulders. I know it will be a lot of work to get better, but it is worth it.

But now to this weeks motivation. I saw this on Pinterest and I thought it was fitting for the day so I made a picture of it. I hope you like it.

I don’t really know why this one spoke to me, but it did. We all have different things in our past and some of us go through similar experiences, but we are not the same. It is all the things that have happened to us that are put together and make us to us. I just know that I want to try and be the best person I can be. But also try and feel better and work on my mental health.

I wish you all an fantastic week and hope that my ramblings on here help at least somebody.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ June 28th

On By NeaIn Motivation, Motivational Monday, quotesLeave a comment

It’s Monday again and the feeling of anxiety that has been my constant companion these last two months is still here. It has gotten so much worse that I have deicide that it is time to ask for help. I am contacting the health system today to get that help. I want you all to know that it is never wrong or never weak to ask for help. They are there for a reason and I have been in contact with a lot of mental health professions to get help since my problems started when I was 12. Usually I go to someone and talk for once or twice a week for different amounts of time, but I think the longer was little over a year. I am not ashamed of these and I know how much help I have gotten in the past so I am looking forward to getting that again.

But enough about that. It is time for some motivation. I don’t know about you, but I need some motivation right now. To get some stuff done at home as well as more writing done on my masters thesis. The following quote is one I stumled on when I was on Pinterest a few days ago. I read it and it kind of spoke to me. It’s form a book that I am now intersted to read.

I think quote points to an important thing. It is okay to be both strong and weak. Sometimes we are one or the other and sometimes we can be both. At this moment I feel more weak than strong, but I am working on becoming stronger and back to feeling in control over my fears and anxiety.

So please remember, what you are feeling is a part of your long journey. If you are feeling weak; you will get through this. I know you will. And if you are feeling strong; that is amazing and I am happy for you!

I wish you all an fantastic week and I hope I can write more posts soon!

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~April 12th

On By NeaIn Mental Health, Motivation, Motivational MondayLeave a comment

It’s Monday and we are having real April weather here where I live. Yesterday was sunny and windy, then in the evening it started to rain. This morning it was snow everywhere. About 0,2 meters have come down during the night, and it’s still snowing. But it’s suppose to go over in rain later today. So April weather.

As I have mentioned before I am struggling with my mental health at the moment. This makes me try and think more positive and change my thoughts. So Motivational Monday is important to me, since it kind of starts my week of in a right mindset. I try to find quotes on Google or on Pinterest. This morning this quote was one that I thought was fitting.

Being an optimist is not always easy, but having a more positive outlook always helps me. I always try and see the glass as half full instead of half empty. And being optimistic can help turn bad thoughts into better thoughts. We need to be kind to ourselves just as we would be to a friend who are struggling.

So be as nice to yourself as you would your best friend and try and keep a possitive mind, I know it’s hard, but don’t forget you are amazing!

Love, Nea

2021 and never give up!

On By NeaIn About me, Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Panic attacksLeave a comment

Trigger warning: Mental Health, suicide thoughts, self harm thoughts

I saw a post on Tumblr today that just hit me. It stood: Reblog this if you didn’t think you’d make it to 2021. And I had to reblog it because If I am being honest. I did not think I would make it to this year. I did not think I would make it till 2008 if I am being honest. And now here I am well past my 18 birthday, in fact I am turning 31 next week. Which is crazy to think about.

I remember when I was 15 years old , this was 2005. I had no real friends to talk to, or at least so it felt. A lot of the time it felt like I was only there when they needed help, but they were never there for me. My parents had a lot on their plate and I felt like I could not confine in them what I was struggling with. My brother and I was not getting along, at least not in a way we could talk. He was 18 and growing up. I was struggling both my mental and physical health. Doctors did not listen to what I was saying. I felt alone. I was thinking about hurting myself, or worse. I was in a dark place. A really dark place.

I will not go into more details, because I feel like going down back to those thoughts might be a bit like going down the rabbit hole. All I can say is that things turned around for me. It was not easy or in a snap. And many of you know I am still struggling and fighting my mental health. As well as my physical health is still a problem. But I found people I can trust. I found the love of my life that stands by my side through it all and helps me when I need it or motivates and pushes me when I need that. I also know not to give up when doctors or mental health professionals don’t listen and find someone who does.

Always keep fighting. Never Give Up!

Now I am turning 31 next week and I can still not believe it some days. I want to go back in time to that scared girl that is in so much pain and darkness and tell her it will be okay. That she needs to continue fighting. That she can do it. I wish I could show her what my life is like now.

And to all of you that are struggling and are in a dark place. Don’t stop fighting. It will get better. It will get easier. If I can do it, then I know you can do it! I believe in you!!

Love, Nea

Depression and hate

On By NeaIn Black Lives Matter, Depression, Mental HealthLeave a comment

TRIGGER ALLERT. Talk about depression, suicide, rape, murder, hate crimes.

I have thought about writing this post for more than a week. It feels like the world is getting more and more ugly. What I mean is why is there so much hate. Murders and hate crimes are increasing in number. Women are raped, and when they come forward they are put on trial by the media. Just the other last week of the leading news shows in Sweden where talking about this prominent man that been booked because a women has stepped forward and pressed charges against him for raped. The report was angled so the woman was just as much on trail, if not more, than this man. The woman has pressed charges against men before, and that was brought up. What the hell does that have to do with things? Many women has been sexually assaulted before. And the district attorney that has boked this man has strong evidence that he is guilt. It just makes me so mad. And now the charges have been dropped and he get to be in prime time tv talking about how he has not raped her. They were just drunk and even though she had declined his kisses and hugs and hands on her earlier in the evening, she was not raped. He also said he did not grope her, he just got a bit handsy and that is apparently fine. I am so mad and sad right now and I can not understand what that woman is going trough.

Every day when I read or listen to the news, all I see is hate. A Man killing Asian women in the USA and claims it is not racism. What else could it be? He targeted Asian women. And the statistics show an increase of hate crimes against people with Asian descent since Covid spread through the world a year ago. Can this be because people who suppose to be leaders have been blaming China? Fueling the hate? Look at the moob that took over Capitolium. Those where terrorists. And Trump once again showing the world who he is.

Look at the Black Lives Matter Movement. How many black lives have to be destroyed before the world does something? How many more lives has to be taken before the world changes? Are the entire world on the way to be just like Germany was under Hitler? Why can’t we just love each other? We all come from the same place a long long time ago. We are all one race.

Then we can talk about Mental health problems. How they are laughed at, or disbelieved when someone talks about it. Look at Meghan Markle. How the press has portrayed her. How they have hounded her. How they have twisted everything around. I believe her when she said she did not want to live anymore. Do you know why I believe her? Because I been their. I have had zero interest in continuing my life and that scared me. My dark thought were taking over my life and they scared me. I did something. I turned to people and I got help. Listening to Meghan Markle talk about it. Being open about it. All I could think about what a strong person she is. How I wished I had the strength to do the same. All I can do. All I have the strength to do. Is write about it here. It is safe to do. You don’t see me sitting here between having to fight my tears. You don’t judge my, or maybe you do, but I am safe behind the screen of my computer. Or at least I feel safe.

I don’t know about you. But I am sick and tired of this hate. I am sitting here writing something that I might get shit for. I am sitting here writing, while I am fighting my own depression. I am not suicidal, but I am depressed. I have a darkness in me at the moment and I am fighting it every why I can. I am trying to see the good in people. I am trying to get the hope back. I am praying for the world to change. I am praying for love and hope. I am praying that the hate crimes, the police brutality, the rapes, the way women are treated and oh so many more horrible things just to stop. I am praying for you. I am praying for your neighbour. I am praying for my friends and family. I am praying for human kind.

This is part of why I been silent here for awhile. I have wanted to write something, but my depression and anxiety has kept me quiet. Not any more. We all need to make this stop. We are living in 2021, why is things like this still happening?

Motivational Monday ~ First of March

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Motivation, Motivational Monday, Panic attacks2 Comments

New week and a new month. I don’t know if you have this yet, but this weekend gave a real feeling of spring. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the sky was so blue. It was beautiful and I spent a lot of time outside with the dogs. You could spring in the air and I know that we will have a few setbacks before spring is really here, but I thought about planting spring flowers and buying daffodils.

As you might know if you been reading my other posts, I am currently working on my master thesis. The subject of this thesis has been changed, but I am actually really excited about it. It will be more difficult, but I also think more rewarding. I am learning a lot and I am looking forward to doing this project. But at the same time my anxiety is making me question my decision. Am I good enough? Will I fail? Will my thesis be accepted? But I have made it this far and I am not going to stop. I am strong enough and I am not going to fail as long as I don’t give up.

This brings me to this weeks motivational quote. I do not know who has said this, but it’s something that I have heard in therapy as well from people online.

So keep trying and know that this makes you strong. And as long as you are trying and not giving up, then you are not failing. You are doing your best, and that is enough!

Now I need to go back to studying! Have an fantastic week!

Love, Nea

Life happens

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Heriot-Watt University, Mental Health, Panic attacks, Study Abroad, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

In the middle of January I started my fifth year at University. Saying it out loud seems crazy, for two reasons. First, because a lot of people did not think I would even make it through one term at University because of my mental health problems. If you were one of them, well than I just want to say: “Fuck you!” I am stronger than you thought.

Secondly, because I was only planing on studying at University for 3 years to take my Bachelors Degree, which I have taken, but life happens. Or more exactly I had one exam hanging over me when I finished the thesis in the begining of January last year, so I had to retake it in March. Which meant that I studied one more term to have something to do while I waited to retake that exam. Than Covid happend and a lot of places would not hire people right out of University, so I countinued to study. And now I am here working on my Masters Thesis and If I take one more term after the summer I will have my Masters. And that sounds even more crazy.

I have showed so many people who doubted me that I am stronger than they think and that I will not be defined or limited by my mental health. It has not always been easy doing this, but with the support of my husband and my family and friends I have done this. I also managed to study one term abroad in Edinburgh, an experience I will always value.

I have lost a couple friends over the time, but that is mostly people who can’t handle my success or that have not been able to handle that I still have mental health problems. But I am better without these people. The friends I have gotten over the time I have studied that have stayed with me are true friends. The kind you can call whenever just to talk.

If I can do this then I know that you can go after what you want as well! Go after your dreams.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ January 25

On By NeaIn Depression, Mental Health, Motivation, Motivational Monday2 Comments

First post of 2021, a bit late, but this year has been hectic so far. And I have kind of been in a bad headspace in the beginning of the year. My mental health has been down and I been fighting to keep my head over over water. My husband has been an amazing support to me these past weeks, like he always is, and he has helped me through a lot. I am feeling better, but know I have a way to go before I am on top again.

Last Monday I started a new term and now I am writing on my Masters Thesis together with another girl. We are only in the beginning of our writing but I think it will go good. Although is never bad to start Mondays of with some motivation, so here is the quote for this week.

I believe a lot in keeping a positive attitude and believing in yourself. I know its hard to do when you are depressed or when everything is going to hell. I been fighting depression for a lot of years, but I am still trying to always have a positive attitude and believe in myself. Because I know I can do it.

I hope you can believe in yourself as well, because I believe in you. You can do this!

Love, Nea

150 %

On By NeaIn About me, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

Yesterday was Monday and I did not post a Motivational Monday post. And the reason why was that I yesterday started studying 150 % and had three lectures back to back with only one hours lunch. I did not have time to write a post in the morning, since I needed to wake up, take care of the dogs and get ready for my day. My lunch hour was spent trying to calm down and get through the rest of the day. I though about posting a motivational post today, but so far I have studied, watched a recorded lecture and planed a bit of my studying for the next couple of days.

Some of you might wonder why I did not just write my Motivational Monday post this weekend and then schedule it. The truth is I did not think about it. I spent this weekend kind of stressed over my next 10 weeks with all the study load I have and how I will make it work with my dogs, having time for my husband and family as well as having time for housework and me time.

I am going to try and get a Motivational Monday Post out next week, but we will see. I have my first assignment due on Monday.

I wish you all a fantastic week and keep on fighting. I know I will.

Love, Nea