I have been sick on and off for about three weeks. I got a bloody cold as well as allergys that been messing with me. But I am starting to feel better.
The thing is that beeing sick has made me completly behind on all the things at home. My husband has done his best. But he has about a million more things then homechores to do so it’s a big mess inside the house. It does not help either that we have tenents moving in soon in our old house.. my husband has been clearing out that house and brought thing here instead..
It feels like were ever I look there are a million things put of order and the laundery has taken over our bedroom and upstairs hallway..
Is there any chance there is such a thing as cleaning fairy’s? Because I would really need them right now.. I have started on the washing and the cleaning, but it will take a while, since I am not completely all right yet.
Well that was just a short update from me.. I wish you a wonderful day.
This morning I woke up at 4 am. And 15 minutes later my alarm went off. It was just to go up and eat breakfast. The reason that I got up so early is that my husband and I drove in together this morning. He starts his job at 7 am in the morning, but it takes an hour to get to campus and we had to drop the dogs at doggie daycare before 7 am.
Now I am sitting at campus listening to a music and trying to motivate myself to study. And wishing that I drank coffee so that I could wake up. But I don’t drink anything with caffeine.
I have been thinking these last days about that I feel like this world is getting more and more hard. We are harder against each other. There is more bullying around us. In school and online. And people are less understanding with other people and their feelings. People are more selfish. I wish that we could spread love and not hate.
I have been told by many people over the last couple of years that my “sickness” is something that makes me the wrong human being to study. That I should stay home. These are things I have never taken to heart.
I know that every one that is fighting against their mental health can overcome it. I have found that taking action is the only thing that helps me with my panic attacks. With this I mean. Do things that you know can and will sett you of. But do it small steps at a time. If you get panic attacks when you shop for groceries. Then go early in the morning or later in the evening, when there are much fewer people in the store. And have as a goal to maybe just by one or two products. And you can, of course, have someone with you as support.
And do this until you are ready to increase the number of products you by. And someday you can shop for an entire week at once.
That is my best advice. Take it slow. But do something to get yourself better. I am not saying that I don´t get panic attacks in the store. Because I do. All the time. But I can handle them better now. And I know that if I am having a rough week then I don’t shop when the stores are the busiest. You have to pick your battles. And right now I am concentrating on finishing my education. And almost all my energy is going to go to all my classes even if I am having a hard day.
This became a longer post than planned. Sorry for the rant.
October. The Month when it really feels like autumn is here. And all I want to do is sit on the couch with a blanket, a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. And some candles burning on the coffee table.
But what I need to do is: Study for my exam that is on the 29 of October. And I also need to do laundry, especially wash my mittens and scarfs. And many more things need to be done. It feels like there are more things than time. I am going through a rough patch right now, as some of you may have understood from my previous posts. And I am stressing out about all the things around me.
Yesterday I had a “normal” day at campus, but when I got home I was exhausted. I slept for about an hour on the sofa with the dogs before I had any energy to get something done.
Today I had an earlier day on campus and after that, I went to a shopping mall and got a christening present for my niece (my husband’s older brothers daughter) that is getting christen on Saturday. Something that had totally fallen out of my mind. And I realised this weekend that we had not gotten her a gift yet.
But on the plus side when I started looking for something to by for her I found the perfect Christmas gift for my nephew (my brother’s son) and also a birthday present for him. His birthday is in February.
Then it hit me. It’s just a couple of months to Christmas. I don’t know where the time has gone. It feels like September just went by without me noticing. Is it me or does time go faster when you get older than it did when you were a child?
Now I am going to study. And then it’s out in the pouring rain to walk the dogs.
And I am really proud of myself. It was a long day yesterday. But I did it.
Today has been a much better day. I was home alone for a few hours when my husband went to work this morning and on the way dropped of the dogs at daycare.
After lunch I drove to campus and had a really good meting with my student consuler. We talked about the next couple of years and my options. And I am really happy about what was said. I will share more with you in an later post.
After that I had some time to befor my computerlabiration started and while I was waiting a friend of my found me and we got a chance to catch up.
Now I am at home and all I want to do is eat and relax. So thats what I am going to do.
Today I am having a hard day. It took every trick I got to get me to campus. I have a full day ahead of me and only one goal. Survive the day.
I have dropped of the dogs at doggie daycare and right now I am sitting outside my lecturehall waiting for the first lecture if the day to start. I am feeling down and trying my best to turn this feeling around.
In the car I was listining to uplifting music. And now I am trying to think of good things that are happening in the next couple of days. I am feeling better then I did this morning. And that is progress.
Wish me luck and I hope you all have an fantastic day.
I havent been to campus yet this week. I am laying at home with a man cold. I was planing to go to my lecture yesterday. I got up early. Ate breakfast and went back to bed to rest before I needed to go. I woke up half past twelve. My lecture ended twelve oclock.. I had sleept for more than 5 hours.
Today I didnt even try to go to campus. But I am starting to feel better. So fingers crossed that I can go to school tomorrow.
Now I am going to snuggle down with my husband, who is also home sick, and watch some netflix.
Today it’s Thursday and soon it will be the weekend. I am still sick and I have no real strength to get things done. The dogs think I am boring because I don’t play as much with them as I usually do. But they love to cuddle with me.
On the morning walk, they found blueberries. They ate a lot of them and it gave me some time to just take a breath and enjoy being outside. It was a quiet morning walk. We just saw one neighbour in a distant.
Today I don’t really know what I am going to do. What I really should be doing is:
Laundry
Empty the dishwasher
Fill the dishwasher and start it
Vacuum the house
Read the three chapters I have to read before Monday’s
But what I want to do is:
Lay on the couch and watch Netflix.
Sleep
Take a photo for my header here on the blog.
Cuddle with the dogs.
Write some more posts on this blog.
Maybe I could do a little bit of both. Now it’s time for breakfast.
Have an amazing day and don’t forget you are all fantastic!
Love, Nea
Zelda and Oracle eating blueberries on this mornings walk.
today I am taking a quiet day at home. I’m feeling a bit sick. I think I have a cold coming on, so I am taking it slow today. Even tho it feels like I have a million things to do. It can be really nice to just slow down for a bit. I am doing some laundry and I have looked at things for next weeks semester start. My schedule is more packed than I would have wanted it to be. But that is life. You just have to make the best of it.
This morning a went on a walk with my two dogs, Oracle and Zelda. You could feel the rain hanging in the air, but it was still nice. It really starting to feel like autumn is here to stay. I will miss the summer, but I love all the different seasons because they all bring something I love.
Like Autumn with the crisp air and the leaves falling down, that the dogs love to play in. The colours are so beautiful and amazing to photograph. And taking long walks with the dogs and my husband is cozy. And then coming inside and crawling down under a blanket on the couch and just holding on to each other. Maybe just talking, watching something on Netflix or just reading.
Right now I am sitting on the couch with the dogs. Zelda is snoring beside me and Oracle is half asleep. They love being close to me and I love it. Dogs are really good companions to have. I can’t imagine my life without them.
Now I have to take care of the clothes in the washing machine. Have a nice day.
Love, Nea
Zelda in my lap yesterday. She wanted to be with my when I was writing.
The Not So Secret Diary of Nea 