Tag: A

Feeling down

On By NeaIn Anxiety, Depression, Life, Love, Mental Health, Oracle, Panic attacks, Studying, UniversityLeave a comment

I don’t really know what happened. I have had an okay day, but now in the afternoon, I started feeling down. I am feeling like I want to crawl down in a hole and not come out. This is a feeling I hate to have and I am trying to turn this day around.

I am feeling drained by the lack of sleep and the worries about Oracle. By what I have observed today I want to say that she is feeling better, but I am not sure. I have spent the last two days at home, but today I want into campus to have a computer lab about statistics. My father had the dogs while I was away and I am really thankful for that.

Tomorrow I have an early lecture and then I really need to continue with my studying for the exam. I am a little nervous about the exam, but I am going to do my best and that just have to be enough.

Right now I am fighting to keep my eyes open, but I have so much more to do today. The dogs need to get food and then a walk. My husband is cooking dinner for us, so I need to eat. And I really should pack my bag for tomorrow. And put the dog cages in the car, so I don’t need to stress about that tomorrow morning. Plus I have a few emails I need to send away.

Love, Nea

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Scared Nea

On By NeaIn About me, Mental Health, StudyingLeave a comment

Yesterday I got a good estimate of how easily I get scared when I am home alone.

I was sitting in the living room studying  and its really windy outside and its raining, and kind of dark outside. Then the lights flicker, which didn’t get me scared. But all the sudden the ventilation increases and I don’t understand why and I find it really scary. I call my husband and asks him if he has come home and decided to play a trick on me, and he says that he is at work. And I am like.. What do I do? He tells me that the flickering in light is the electricity had a spike in it and that I need to go down and turn down the ventilation.  I am still scared at this point and I am thinking that someone got into the house, through our garage and into the boiler room and started messing with the ventilation so I would walk down and they could kill me… Stupid, right? So my husband has to talk to me on the phone while I walk down there. And the house is squeaking because its an older house and it’s really windy outside. I am seriously thinking about locking myself in the bedroom. But I did it.

And afterwards, I felt really stupid for getting so scared. My fantasy is just too good sometimes. And I am use to old houses and I usually like being home alone.

Today I have already had my lecture and now I am at home with the dogs. And I should be studying, but I feel like all my energy just vanished. And all I want is to cuddle with the dogs and my husband. But he is not going to be home for a couple of hours. He is working hard and here I am complaining about not having the energy to study… So for my own sake and for all his hard work I am going to study.

Love, Nea

My husband – Thankful Tuesday

On By NeaIn A, Life, Love, Mental Health, Thankful TuesdayLeave a comment

I am thankful for being married to the best man I have ever meet. He is my best friend and I know that he is always there for me.

I can call him whenever I need to talk to him and he always gives me time. When I have a panic attack he just gives me exactly what I need. He listens to my problems and he is always a good sounding board to my ideas and thoughts.

He makes me laugh, even if I had a really bad day.  You know the kind of laughter that makes your stomach ache.

He supports my dreams and goals. Many of them are the same for both of us. And he always pushes me to do better and to never give up. He helps me overcome things I didn’t think I would ever be able to do. But with his help, I am now studying at a University and getting a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration (Company Economics in Swedish).

This November we have been a couple for 12 years and I don’t know what I would do without him in my life.

I could write a book about what he means to me and still not be close to finishing with all that is amazing about this man.

So to finish this post. I am thankful for my husband on this thankful Tuesday.

Saturdays is a study day

On By NeaIn Life, StudyingLeave a comment

Sitting at home feeling a bit sorry for myself. I am still feeling my cold and I had plans with my husband to go to an important and motivation work event a couple of hours away from here. I opted to stay at home and that’s why I am feeling sorry for myself. But I need to focus on my health.

I have been studying and resting. My husband went with without me and I am glad that he got to meet all the amazing people that would attend this event. And right now I am waiting for him to get home and tell me everything about the event.

I have found a new series on Netflix, or at least new for me. It’s called When Calls the Heart. I am going to watch an episode now.

Have an amazing evening.

Love, Nea

Evening walk!

No lazy Saturday for me

On By NeaIn A, Anxiety, Depression, Life, Love, Mental Health, Panic attacks, UniversityLeave a comment

Good afternoon,

Yesterday was a day I just want to forget. The funeral for my grandmother was yesterday and I don’t know what I would have done without my husband. His support got me through the day. I went to campus in the morning for my two lectures and then my husband picked me up and we went to my parents to eat lunch and change into funeral clothes. When we came to the funeral all my instincts screamed: Run as fast as you can.

I really didn’t want to go inside. But my husband took my hand and together we went in. When I saw the coffin all I wanted to do was to fall down, but my husband was there by my side. I cried and I cried. And he gave me tissue after tissue. It was a beautiful ceremony and I think my grandmother would be pleased with it. It was a hard and emotional goodbye for all of us. But I hope and think she is with my grandfather now.

In the evening I was so tired and didn’t feel good at all. So we took a quiet night at home.

This morning I woke up with a fever and a cold. But I had a million things to do, many of them for school. So today I have done some of them and the rest I am doing tomorrow.

I hope you all have a wonderful day,

Love Nea

My wedding day

On By NeaIn A, Great Britain, Life, Love, Okategoriserade, Travle, WeddingLeave a comment

A and I eloped. We didn’t want to have a big party where everyone was looking at us when we exchanged our vows. So we did it legally in Sweden at the city hall in Örebro. It took about 10 minutes and our witnesses were my brother, my sister-in-law and my nephew. My brother found out the day before that he was going to witness our wedding. But this is not what we count as our wedding day. My sister-in-law had known about our wedding since September last year, because she helped me with finding my dream dress and planing so they could come with us to England.

We had our real wedding 13 days later, the date that we have in our rings, in Wales in Great Britain. My brother and sister-in-law were our witnesses this time too. It was just us four. And my brother was taking the photos. We had our private ceremony in a grove. It was perfect and everything I wanted it to be. My husbands vow where amazing and I cried. I will remember this day forever.

It was all just what I wanted it to be. And I am really pleased with how we were true to ourselves and did it our way. Our parents got a text in the evening on our wedding day, with a picture and we wrote like: so this happened on our vacation.

We have gotten mixed responses on our wedding, but for the most part, it has been positive.

We had a wedding party to celebrate with our family and friends last Friday. I will write more about it later. And I know I will write more about our wedding later too. It’s one of the best days of my life..

Have an amazing day!

Love, Nea

 

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