Tag: Panic attacks

Finally Thursday

On By NeaIn About me, Anxiety, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, UniversityLeave a comment

I finally went to campus today. It was nice to go back, even if I could have stayed home in bed a couple of days more. But I only had a 2 hours lecture where we went through old exam questions. I had some minor panic feelings in the car on my way to campus, but I could handle them. One reason for my feelings was that my sunglasses broke and I really needed them. But I just turned around and get myself a cap instead so I could drive to campus. I hadn’t gotten very far from home when I turned around.

I have stressed over how behind a must be after being sick and at home the last three days, but when I came to campus today and talked with some of my classmates, I don’t feel as stressed anymore. I will have to study this weekend, but then I will be in sync with the rest of the class. And that feels really good.

Now I am trying to come up with what we are going to eat for the rest of the week. I am going grocery shopping, and that is something I hate doing, because if it is crowded I know I can get a panic attack. I have to fight with my mind so I can shop because I don’t want to send my husband to the store every time we need something. This is something I really need to work on, and a few years ago I would not have been able to do this, but I have my ways of getting it done.

Hope you are all having a wonderful day!

Love, Nea

Wonderful autumn! 🍁

Second day at campus

On By NeaIn Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, UniversityLeave a comment

Good afternoon!

Now I had my second day on campus. It went better than yesterday. I meet my wonderful friend Tova and we talked about our classes and she gave me some pointers about the class I am taking right now. She is just wonderful. And always helps me. Also, she always reminds me that I am stronger and smarter then I think.

And then I had a lecture, or not really a lecture. The class of about 100 students are divided into 3 groups and we have time with one of our teaching assistants and we go throw some of the statistics calculations we have in the book or in our booklet. It’s so we learn how to calculate different statistics and their formulas. I am going to have about 2-3 of these a week, for about 8-9 weeks. And I am also going to have 3 lectures a week. And a couple of lab experiments (don’t really know if this is the right word, sorry) in the next 8 weeks.  I am excited and a little scared. Its hard work and I hope this class will be good for me.

Of course, I had some small panic “moments” during the day today, but I don´t let myself get lost in those thoughts or moments. I just keep moving forward. I am trying to always see the bright side of things, and not get caught up in the negative all the time. Its hard sometimes, but you have to try and change your thoughts and not hang out with negative people.

Take care of yourself. And don’t let people pull you down.

Right now I am doing a kind of from home test that I will have the opportunity to do one every week. I have 20 tries per week and the best results are counted together at the end of these 8-9 weeks and I can get points credited for my written exam at the beginning of November.
So the better I am at these test the easier it will be later. But they take time. They call them “Dugga” and I hope you understand what I mean in my explanation. It is not the same questions on every 20 tries. It is different. And I have until tomorrow early morning to finish this one. And I have 10 tries left.

Then on Friday the next Dugga is realised with many more questions and 20 new tries. And I have until Monday morning.

Have a wonderful evening. I need to get back to my Dugga.

Love, Nea

Sunday morning

On By NeaIn About me, Anxiety, Depression, Everyday life, Life, Mental Health, Panic attacks, UniversityLeave a comment

Hello,

Today is the day before my first class of the term. I feel ready, but I am a bit anxious about starting again. As I have previously told I have a problem with a lot of people and I know that every class starts tomorrow so there will be a lot of people on campus tomorrow.  I am afraid of having a panic attack, even though I know that if I do I will be alright. I have my trick for coping. Trying to think of things that make me happy. Looking at pictures. And if I don’t feel safe where I am, I try to get somewhere I feel safer. And if none of these things helps I usually call someone to talk to a bit. Tell them about my problems and we talk til I feel better. More relaxed.

I don’t take any pills for my mental health. Doctors have said that they can write me prescriptions, but I want to overcome this on my own. I don’t look down on people that take pills, I understand them. I am not saying I am stronger or better. I just say that everyone must do their own choices. And maybe one day I will need to take the pills, but not now.

And I can tell you I am on medication for my asthma and my allergies. Just not anything for my depression, anxiety or panic attacks.

If there is anything you want to know. Please ask.

Love, Nea

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Picture from this mornings walk.