Tuesday Truths

As some of you might have noticed I did not post a Motivational Monday post yesterday. I just did not have the time or energy. I have been working hard on my mental health and trying to keep my head over water. But it is though and I am struggling. I want this blog to be uplifting and help people. However, I still feel like being honest is the best thing I can do.

I hope you all can be understanding that I will post on here when I want and when I have the time. So far 2022 has been stressful, messy, sad and great at the same time. I have more emotions then I thought was possible. I am trying my best to keep it all together and just move forward.

I wish you all a fantastic week! And what ever you are going through! YOU GOT THIS!

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ 7th February

Monday again and the sun is shining. I have already had a productive day and it makes me happy. I decided to start this week in the best possible way by just starting doing things that needed to be done. I wrote a list yesterday of what I needed to do this week and I have already tackled 5 things, which makes me really happy. I remembered this morning a quote I read the other day, which motivated me a lot. So that will be this week’s motivational quote.

I try to get more things done than just talking about doing things. It’s hard but when I do the things I talked about I feel happier and free. I can do anything I set my mind to and I know you can too. I am working hard on getting my degree, but also challenging my mental health and improving. It’s hard getting out of bed some days, but by doing that and getting things done I feel better. I know I will have off days, we all do. But the days I get things done helps, even with my off days, cause I know I can get back to getting things done.

I wish you all a magical week and remember you can do this!

Love, Nea

Lists

I guess I am not the only one who is forgetful. And I know that there are more people with depression and anxiety who need to have goals of what to do during the day to be able to get things done. This means that I write a lot of lists. Lists of things I need to do, like the dishes or laundry and watering the plants. But also lists of what groceries are needed, what we are going to eat that week, as well as lists of what I want to share on this blog and my Instagram linked to this blog. As well as on my bookstagram and book blog. I also write lists of what I am thankful for and the top three things that have happened in a week. This helps me find the light in the dark.

I think I write lists of almost everything and it helps me. Helps me remember, helps me get things done, and helps me focus on good things. I know some people get annoyed when I talk about my lists, but they help me. Therefore they are important.

Today I started once again on a list of what I am thankful for. This is a list that never really changes, only smaller things on it or seasonal things. But it helps me. I want to share this list with you. It might help you or give you the idea to try your own list. So here goes:

What I am thankful for:

  • My Husband
  • Oracle (my corgi)
  • Zelda (my second corgi)
  • My family
  • My friends
  • My house
  • My happy childhood memories
  • My writing
  • My books
  • The food I eat
  • The clothes
  • My warm and comfy bed
  • My time
  • My garden
  • The woods around me
  • The animals that I see living in the woods
  • The sun
  • The smell of the warming fire in our fireplace
  • My stubbornness
  • The hope of a white winter
  • The happiness I feel when I watch my husband
  • the happiness I feel when my dogs chase each other on the frosty ground in the garden
  • The happiness I feel when my nephew or neice wants to play or just be with me
  • Having somewere to share my struggles

This list is shorter than the real list. But this is what I wrote in about five minutes. And looking at it makes me feel thankful and blessed. I also have hope for the future. I have so much love and support around me and I know I can make it through. Just as I know that you can make it through.

Love, Nea

World Mental Health Day 2021

Today is World Mental Health Day. I read that this day was first celebrated in 1992, almost 20 years. A lot have changes since then, but there is still a lot of misinformation and shame linked to mental health.

I still have times that people look at me strange when I tell them about my depression and/or anxiety. Some people don’t want to get to know me because of this. Some companies don’t want to employ me because of this. But you know what? I am more than my mental health issues. I am more than my depression. I am more than my anxiety. I am just as important as other people. I am just as worthy of love and affection. Of friendship. Of living. I am not worth less than anyone else.

You are not worth less. You are worthy of love, friendship and so much more. We all are. It does not matter if we have mental health problems or not.

I hope that we in another 20 years can be more open without being judged. I hope that we can continue working for a better world for all of us. I don’t want people to be ashamed about their struggles. I want people to be able to be open, and get the help ans support they need.

I know we all can do better and help spread the awareness. I am trying to be more open with my struggles and I hope you can to. It’s okay to have problems. It’s okay to ask for help.

Voices ~ Jana Kramer

I have started to listen to songs that help me feel more confident or at least help me deal with my feelings. I am one of those people who can listen to the same song over and over again. And today I want to share one of those songs with you. This is a new song that was released last week.

It is called Voices and it is Jana Kramer that sings it. I love Jana Kramer, she has an incredible voice and she has so much things to share. This song is about feeling that you are worthy of love and stop listening to the voices in your head. When I first heard this song I feel as she was singing of me. I often feel like I am not enough and that I don’t deserve my husbands love. But this song has helped me start being more nice to myself. So I hope that that might do the same for you.

Because you are amazing and worthy of love! Ignore the voices in your head.

Important to remember

Sometime you need to make decisions that are hard, even though you know that it is for your own sake. Like today. I had to withdraw from a course, because I need to finish my master thesis and I can’t do that and study 100%. That would mean that I would be putting in at least 80 hours weeks until the end of September. And my mental health would not handle that. I would be a wreck.

It feels like a failure, but I needed to do this for me. For my health. For my well-being. I need to be better at realizing that it is: It is okay to put yourself first. It is okay to make sure that you don’t stress to much.

Maybe some of you also need to remember that. I don’t know. But I have promised myself as well as my husband to be better at putting my health above studying and getting good grades. It is not the end of the world if I fail, my health is more important.

Just needed to get this out of my head, and I though it might be something someone else needed to read (hear).

Motivational Monday ~16 August

I been in a bit of a slump for a couple of weeks. Not really wanting to do anything, which is why I have not posted in awhile. I am still waiting in to get a time to see a psychologist, but there are so many people who need help at the moment. I am trying to stay possitive, but some days are harder than others. Which is why I decided that I need to start with Motivational Monday’s again as well as hopefully posting more here.

In exactly 14 days I start what I hope will be my last term in Uni, but you never know. I have a lot to do before then so I need all the motivation I can get. This weeks motivational quote:

I think it is important for everyone to realize that they don’t need to be perfect, because truth is NOBODY is perfect. They might seem perfect but they are not. And taking a step forward and/or doing something for the future is progress. It do not have to be a big step, just a step.

I hope this quote motivates you, because it motivates me. I am striving for progress and I am going to do the best I can. It won’t be perfect but it will be a step forward.

I wish you all an fantastic week.

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ June 28th

It’s Monday again and the feeling of anxiety that has been my constant companion these last two months is still here. It has gotten so much worse that I have deicide that it is time to ask for help. I am contacting the health system today to get that help. I want you all to know that it is never wrong or never weak to ask for help. They are there for a reason and I have been in contact with a lot of mental health professions to get help since my problems started when I was 12. Usually I go to someone and talk for once or twice a week for different amounts of time, but I think the longer was little over a year. I am not ashamed of these and I know how much help I have gotten in the past so I am looking forward to getting that again.

But enough about that. It is time for some motivation. I don’t know about you, but I need some motivation right now. To get some stuff done at home as well as more writing done on my masters thesis. The following quote is one I stumled on when I was on Pinterest a few days ago. I read it and it kind of spoke to me. It’s form a book that I am now intersted to read.

I think quote points to an important thing. It is okay to be both strong and weak. Sometimes we are one or the other and sometimes we can be both. At this moment I feel more weak than strong, but I am working on becoming stronger and back to feeling in control over my fears and anxiety.

So please remember, what you are feeling is a part of your long journey. If you are feeling weak; you will get through this. I know you will. And if you are feeling strong; that is amazing and I am happy for you!

I wish you all an fantastic week and I hope I can write more posts soon!

Love, Nea

2021 and never give up!

Trigger warning: Mental Health, suicide thoughts, self harm thoughts

I saw a post on Tumblr today that just hit me. It stood: Reblog this if you didn’t think you’d make it to 2021. And I had to reblog it because If I am being honest. I did not think I would make it to this year. I did not think I would make it till 2008 if I am being honest. And now here I am well past my 18 birthday, in fact I am turning 31 next week. Which is crazy to think about.

I remember when I was 15 years old , this was 2005. I had no real friends to talk to, or at least so it felt. A lot of the time it felt like I was only there when they needed help, but they were never there for me. My parents had a lot on their plate and I felt like I could not confine in them what I was struggling with. My brother and I was not getting along, at least not in a way we could talk. He was 18 and growing up. I was struggling both my mental and physical health. Doctors did not listen to what I was saying. I felt alone. I was thinking about hurting myself, or worse. I was in a dark place. A really dark place.

I will not go into more details, because I feel like going down back to those thoughts might be a bit like going down the rabbit hole. All I can say is that things turned around for me. It was not easy or in a snap. And many of you know I am still struggling and fighting my mental health. As well as my physical health is still a problem. But I found people I can trust. I found the love of my life that stands by my side through it all and helps me when I need it or motivates and pushes me when I need that. I also know not to give up when doctors or mental health professionals don’t listen and find someone who does.

Always keep fighting. Never Give Up!

Now I am turning 31 next week and I can still not believe it some days. I want to go back in time to that scared girl that is in so much pain and darkness and tell her it will be okay. That she needs to continue fighting. That she can do it. I wish I could show her what my life is like now.

And to all of you that are struggling and are in a dark place. Don’t stop fighting. It will get better. It will get easier. If I can do it, then I know you can do it! I believe in you!!

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ First of March

New week and a new month. I don’t know if you have this yet, but this weekend gave a real feeling of spring. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the sky was so blue. It was beautiful and I spent a lot of time outside with the dogs. You could spring in the air and I know that we will have a few setbacks before spring is really here, but I thought about planting spring flowers and buying daffodils.

As you might know if you been reading my other posts, I am currently working on my master thesis. The subject of this thesis has been changed, but I am actually really excited about it. It will be more difficult, but I also think more rewarding. I am learning a lot and I am looking forward to doing this project. But at the same time my anxiety is making me question my decision. Am I good enough? Will I fail? Will my thesis be accepted? But I have made it this far and I am not going to stop. I am strong enough and I am not going to fail as long as I don’t give up.

This brings me to this weeks motivational quote. I do not know who has said this, but it’s something that I have heard in therapy as well from people online.

So keep trying and know that this makes you strong. And as long as you are trying and not giving up, then you are not failing. You are doing your best, and that is enough!

Now I need to go back to studying! Have an fantastic week!

Love, Nea