World Mental Health Day

Today it’s the World Mental Health Day. And it is to increase the awareness about mental health. This is something that I think is very important. Do you know how many people around the world that have mental health problems? I know that there are a lot more people than we know about. Mental health is just as important as any physical illness.

When I was a child, mental health was not something that I heard about. Not from adults, in school or anything like that. When I started having problems when I was 13 years old, it was so secretive. It felt like I should be ashamed about my problems. I got to go to therapy at a special child psychologist at the hospital and I was so ashamed, because that was how I got the notion from everybody around me. I don’t remember that my parents or brother being ashamed about me, but if I said anything to like a teacher they looked at me like I had grown three more heads.

When I got in to therapy for the second time I was 17 years old and everything came crazing down. I had an unknown illness in an out of hospital up to five times a week and they could not find anything wrong with me. I had to stop going to school and I was just sitting at home in the apartment afraid to do anything. Afraid to go out. Afraid I was going to die when I was alone. All this bought out the worst in me. My depression grew. I got anxious. I had panic attacks. I leaned heavily on my boyfriend and family. I got through it with their help and doctors found my out what unknown illness I had. It turned out I did not just have one, but three that kind of worked together…

Now I live a more “normal” life. I still have to fight with my mental health almost daily. I still have anxiety, panic attacks and get depressed. But I have tools to work with that help. I get the love and support of my husband, family and friends. And I talk about it. I am not ashamed about what has happened to me. I am not ashamed about my mental health, it is part of me. I am not perfect but I am me. I am stronger than most other people, because you know what, I did not give up. And I refuse to crawl into a corner and let life pass me by. My mental health does not define me and I will not let it define you anyone else. You are so much more then your depression, anxiety, panic attacks or what else you are fighting with.

If you have problems with you mental health, please talk to someone. Get help. This is not something you need to go through alone. Talk about what is going on in your mind, don’t be ashamed. There are so many people out there that have the same problems. You can fight this! I believe in you.

And to show you how many people that you know that has mental health problems here is a list of celebrities that have mental health problems (if you click on the links you come to videos or articles where they talk about mental health):

  • Jared Padalecki – depression (Always keep fighting)
  • Adele – depression
  • Ryan Reynolds – anxiety
  • Chrisy Teigen – Postpartum depression
  • Lena Dunham – anxiety
  • Dakota Johnson – Anxiety
  • Emma Stone – Anxiety and Panic Attacks
  • Gina Rodriguez – Anxiety
  • Ellen DeGeneres – Depression
  • Lili Reinhart – Anxiety
  • Lady Gaga – Depression and Anxiety
  • Olivia Munn – OCD
  • J.K. Rowling – Depression
  • Ellie Goulding – Panic Attacks
  • Zendaya – Anxiety
  • Selena Gomez – Anxiety, panic attacks and depression
  • Sarah Silverman – Panic Attacks and Depression
  • Kristen Bell – Depression
  • Gwyneth Paltrow – Postpartum depression
  • Princess Diana – Post-natal depression
  • Cara Delevinge – Depression
  • Chris Evans – Anxiety and Depression
  • Prince Harry – anxiety

“I, for a long time, have been passionate about people dealing with mental illness and struggling with depression, or addiction, or having suicidal thoughts and, strangely enough, it’s almost like the life I live, as well. I was 25 years old. I had my own TV show. I had dogs that I loved and tons of friends and I was getting adoration from fans and I was happy with my work, but I couldn’t figure out what it was; it doesn’t always make sense is my point. It’s not just people who can’t find a job, or can’t fit in in society that struggle with depression sometimes.” ~ Jared Padalecki, to Variety.

“There’s nothing weak about struggling with mental illness,” she wrote in an essay for Motto. “For me, depression is not sadness. It’s not having a bad day and needing a hug. It gave me a complete and utter sense of isolation and loneliness. Its debilitation was all-consuming, and it shut down my mental circuit board. I felt worthless, like I had nothing to offer, like I was a failure. Now, after seeking help, I can see that those thoughts, of course, couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s important for me to be candid about this so people in a similar situation can realize that they are not worthless and that they do have something to offer. We all do. ” ~ Kristen Bell

Kerry Washington told Glamour: “I say that publicly because I think it’s really important to take the stigma away from mental health. My brain and my heart are really important to me. I don’t know why I wouldn’t seek help to have those things be as healthy as my teeth. I go to the dentist. So why wouldn’t I go to a shrink?”

So know this; You are not alone in this. There is help to get. And please don’t be ashamed of your mental health!

Love, Nea

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Motivational Monday ~ October 7th

It’s is Monday and I am at home. I am actually going to be home this whole day. We finished out project on Friday and the day to hand it in is tomorrow before a lecture, so the plan for the day is to study for my exam next week.

So Monday means a motivational post from me and this saying always makes me smile. It is one that I heard for the first time from one of my teachers many when I was like 14 years old and it has kind of stuck with me since then. It is also this weeks quotes in my home made calendar. So it is fitting that I share it here with you.

Good saying isn’t it. I think we all need to be more positive in our life. I know that life can knock you down and it can all feel very negative, but there is almost always some way to spin it into a positive. Almost always.

Some days I have a big problem to be positive, but I try. For my sake, but also people around me. A negative person can easily pull down people around them and I don’t want to be that kind of a person.

I hope you like the days quote. And I wish you all an magical week!

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday – September 16

Good morning! Today I have one of those days where it feels like I have a million things to do and so little time. This week at Uni will be packed and I have a lot of other things to do as well.

Today’s motivational quotes is from one of my favorite actors and role-models. He is an inspiration and I try to live by this quote even though my anxiety makes that hard, most days.

Some days are harder then others not to worry. And I know it can be a struggle living with mental health problems. I am not saying that this is easy for me. I want to be as open as I can here, but sometimes I feel like I need to think more about the positive sides of my life and not just focus on my mental health problems. I fight my anxiety and panic attacks almost daily. And my depression always comes along on the most difficult days. Some days I feel like I am Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh. The daily struggle is increased when I have stress in my life, and right now I got a lot of stress in my life. But I try to deal with it the best I can. It is a work in progress, but I know that if I can do this, so can you!

So now I am going to take a deep breath and try my hardest not to worry. Then I am going to get all the things I need today ready. Pack it and the dogs in the car. Drive to my parents and drop the dogs of there. Then its of to Uni for the day.

I wish you all an amazing week and try not to worry. I know its hard, but I belive in you!

Love, Nea

Motivational Monday ~ September 9th

It’s Monday again and I am feeling kind of excited. I had a quiet hard week last week. With a lot of stress and a few mini breakdowns, because it kind of just got to mutch. But my husband helped me through it and now I feel stronger. I know this week is going to be a killer week with long days and hard work at campus, but I am learning a lot and I know that in the end it is all worth it.

Today’s Motivational Quote is an important quote to me, it might not be as motivational as the quotes I use to post. This is more about self-worth, but I feel like it is an important part of life.

This is a quote that helped me when I desided to cut a couple of people out of my life. People who only made me feel bad about my self and that always made me feel like I don’t belong. But not any more. I don’t let people make me feel like that anymore. I matter and I am loved.

And I hope you know that you matter and are loved as well. Don’t let anyone make you feel less of yourself. Be yourself and cut out people who don’t treat you good. I know it can be hard at times, but it is worth it.

Now I need to get some studying done. I wish you all an fantastic week.

Love, Nea

Last semester

Today my last semester at this University starts, or at least the last planed semester. I am thinking about taking one more semester at uni, maybe not this university. I am going to try and get a meeting with my student counselor and look at the course I want to take.

One of the songs that motivates me right now.

I only have afternoon lectures today, two of them. And the last one ends at six this evening, which means I won’t be home until earliest 7. It’s going to be a long day and I am kind of nervous. This might sound strange, I mean this is my uni, where I already gone for four semesters. But since I went my 5th semester abroad and now I am back here in Sweden, it feels kind of weird. I mean, I am not really the same woman that left Sweden. I feel like I have grown a lot and I know more of what I want in life.

I have always loved my uni, but I loved the Heriot-Watt University as well, and I know I will miss it. But it is really nice to do my last semester here in Sweden. I am looking forward to Autumn and yesterday morning I could almost smell the Autumn in the air. It was cold and crisp. This morning I almost wanted to go inside again because I thought it was so cold, but Zelda was happy just walking and sniffing on everything.

One of the motivating songs I listen to today.

Oracle went with my husband to work earlier this morning and I am dropping Zelda of there on the way to campus. This way I am not alone at home with my nerves, but I do not have to deal with two dogs when I am packing everything up. Plus Oracle gets some extra time alone with my husband, which she really needs.

I can feel my anxiety levels are kind of high right now and it helps me a lot that I have Zelda here at home with me. She is sitting next to me on the sofa right now and the music also helps. I am trying my best to keep myself from spiraling and keep myself grounded. I know I can do this. I also know that I have my husband just a phone call away if I need to talk, which also helps. But now I am going to get ready for my lectures today.

I wish you all an amazing Tuesday.

Love, Nea

Exam, cloudy head and happy dance

Yesterday I had my Introduction to Law Exam. It was in one of the two new exam halls, that opened this summer at my university. It was really nice and I am actually looking forward to having more exams there. I am not completely sure how the exam went for me, but I did my best. And with two sick dogs for the last week (the dogs are feeling better today) and not that much time to study because of it, I have to be okay with that. If I need to take the exam again I just have to.

Zelda on this mornings walk.

My parents took care of the dogs when I took the exam, and my husband drove me. Which was nice. He is really busy right now, with the new house and work. Next week he is going to go away for work, and he will be gone almost the whole week. But it is the kind of project he loves to do, so that is nice.

Today I have a cloudy head. I don’t really know how to explain it any other way. What I mean is that it feels kind of fluffy in there. Like I’m not completely awake. I usually gets like this after an exam. I think it might have something to do with the fact that for 4 hours yesterday my brain had to work really hard and it needs a break for a while now.

Oracle chilling on the sofa.

So today my head and I have washed clothes (four full machines), done the dishes and vacuumed the house. I also had a kind of happy dance in the living room, because why not. It is important to enjoy life. Sometimes the best is to dance like nobody is watching. And if a neighbor saw, lets say I don’t care. I had a great time.

I have also started reading a new book today. Nora Roberts book The Collector. I have never read it before, but Nora Roberts is one of my favorite writers. The book is real good so far, and I have to admit I have read about halfway through so far. It is hard to put down.

My husband is going to be home late today. He is at my brother and sister-in-law and helping them. I could have gone with, but with the dogs still not all okay and my head cloudy I just don’t really think I am the best company. So instead I will cuddle down in the sofa with the dogs and continue reading.

I wish you all an amazing evening.

Love, Nea

Rough Patch

Hey again.. It’s been awhile since I wrote here. And to be honest, I been going through a kind of rough patch. I been feeling and are feeling closed in and trapped in my house. It’s to many people around. Nosy neighbors. It just feels like there is eyes on me every time I leave the house with the dogs. Might sound a bit paranoid, but we have two nosy neighbors. I see them standing in there windows looking and it just does not feel great going out. So I am really looking forward to moving.

My husband is working hard on the renovating and it’s kind of hard for me. Because I feel useless. I feel like I am in the way. My asthma prevents me for helping and I spend my time with the dogs at home. And it sucks. I want to help and I want to do something to help.

Also I am studying for an exam that I have in about a weeks time. The exam I missed, because the term in Edinburgh started before my term here in Sweden had stooped. It’s a law course and it is boring and kind of hard. There are a lot of laws and to learn how to use them correctly and so is hard. I am doing my best, and I hope I get a passable grade.

Now this might be a really boring post for you. But this is my truth. This is whats been going on. I am fight-hing with my mental health almost daily and right now I am in a rough patch. It is going to pass, because I am stronger. Because I am a fighter, but life can’t be easy all the time. And I have to tell you. After a rough patch you always appreciate the good times so much more.